Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Rest in Peace, San Francisco Examiner

Newspapers are going under at a tremendous rate all over the country. The economy, the Internet and the fact that they haven’t been forward-thinking in adapting to changing times are the main reasons why. Cities that once had 2-4 daily papers are cutting down to 1 or 2.
I’m predicting the demise of the San Francisco Examiner. It may take 6 months; it could take a year—but the Examiner has a terminal disease and is simply waiting to die.
It’s easy to see what’s going on, even from the cheap seats. I don’t pretend to have any inside information, but I have two eyes.
On Sunday, we got 3 copies of the Examiner delivered to our door. We don’t live in an apartment complex with multiple units, and we normally only get one copy, so getting 3 seemed odd. Then, as I was walking my dogs, I noticed that every single house in our neighborhood got 3 papers dumped on their doorstep.
Now, the Examiner might blame it on a rogue delivery person. So, just out of curiosity, I kept walking, out of Pacific Heights and down to Cow Hollow and then onto the Marina. Every single dwelling got the same 3 newspapers.
Suddenly I realized what the Examiner was up to.
They’re falsely inflating their circulation—it’s so obvious. Advertising is based on how many papers are distributed, and they have to hit certain numbers in order to charge certain rates.
Today is now Tuesday and many of those same newspapers are still there from Sunday, sitting in gutters and on sidewalks, many of them rain-soaked and falling apart within their plastic bags. What a waste! How can the Examiner claim to be green when they’re doing something like this?
Also, the size of the paper has been slowly shrinking. Today’s Examiner is only 28 pages long. That’s not a newspaper—that’s a brochure!
It was bound to happen. The Examiner changed their format recently and, in my opinion, sealed there fate by doing so. They turned themselves into what I’m calling “The Chronicle Lite” – no in-depth news to speak of, but lots of celebrity gossip and photos.
Yes, the Examiner is going to die soon. There won’t be a funeral or a wake; you just won’t find it on your doorstep on Thursday or Sunday mornings. And it’s too bad—because it used to be a great paper and it could have been saved, if the people who ran it had changed with the times and taken some proactive moves to keep it profitable.

Saturday, February 07, 2009

Who Invented the Stereo Cabinet?

If you know your tech history, you're aware of the fact that a man named Alan Blumlein invented stereo in 1931, when he got a patent on what he called "binaural sound." Blumlein has never received complete credit for this amazing invention. The other day someone asked me a very interesting question-who invented the stereo cabinet? I did some research and the answer is complex. Many have claimed credit--people like James Hanley, Jay O'Neil, Ricard Liss, Dr. Ronny Berquist and others--but no one knows for sure. It's a mystery wrapped up in an enigma and tied up with a big 'ol question mark. One day, maybe historians will be able to track down the truth about who really invented the stereo cabinet. Stay tuned--I am not done doing my research on this topic. If any readers know anything or have inside information, let me know.

Everyone's Tokin' About Michael Phelps


Michael Phelps made a mistake by letting himself be photographed taking a hit of pot from a bong. Just look at the photo. He’s using it all wrong. For one, he doesn’t have the proper amount of water in there. Consequently, the smoke he inhaled was probably very harsh. A little crushed ice would have also been a smart move. In addition, it appears as though he’s not using the carburetor properly.
Poor Michael Phelps. Who knew his best event was the 420 Freestyle?
Sure, I jest. I can’t help it. But, I think this incident illustrates two things: 1.) Michael Phelps used really poor judgment and 2.) Marijuana should have been legalized a long time ago.
I have been saying it for 20 years now and my opinion has never changed. Pot is a weed that grows naturally in the soil. It is so much less harmful than the number one killer among teens and adults, which is cigarettes, followed closely by alcohol. You never hear about people dying in pot-related accidents. You never see folks vomiting in the gutter after smoking one too many joints. I’ve never heard anyone say, “Wow, I am so hungover. I smoked too much weed last night.”
I know you’ve all heard the arguments, so I won’t go into them here. I’m not defending Phelps so much as I’m saying that the fact that marijuana is still illegal after all these years is ridiculous—a mixture of fear, arrogance and ignorance. Economically, nothing makes more sense than to make it legal. You want an economic stimulus in this country? Legalize pot!
This appeared on the Huffington Post recently, written by John V. Santore:
Olympic gold medalist Michael Phelps was recently photographed using a marijuana bong at the home of a friend. The photographic evidence made a denial impossible, which led to release of the following statement today:
"I engaged in behavior which was regrettable and demonstrated bad judgment. I'm 23 years old and despite the successes I've had in the pool, I acted in a youthful and inappropriate way, not in a manner people have come to expect from me. For this, I am sorry. I promise my fans and the public it will not happen again."
Not too long ago, Chris Matthews reviewed transitioning public attitudes towards marijuana by reviewing the statements of past presidential candidates about their own drug use, from Bill Clinton to Barack Obama:
And during the last campaign, Stephen Colbert made light of the supposed "hope bong" then-candidate Obama was making available to the public:
All of this would be little more than an interesting and amusing cultural trend were it not for realities such as this:
A study released [in April, 2008] reported that between 1998 and 2007 [in New York City], the police arrested 374,900 people whose most serious crime was the lowest-level misdemeanor marijuana offense.
That is more than eight times the number of arrests on those same charges between 1988 and 1997, when 45,300 people were picked up for having a small amount of pot...
...Nearly everyone involved in this wave of marijuana arrests is male: 90 percent were men, although national studies show that men and women use pot in roughly equal rates. And 83 percent of those charged in these cases were black or Latino, according to the study. Blacks accounted for 52 percent of the arrests, twice their share of the city's population. Whites, who are about 35 percent of the population, were only 15 percent of those charged -- even though federal surveys show that whites are more likely than blacks or Latinos to use pot.
Among the pretty large population of white people who have used pot and not been arrested for it is Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg. Asked during the 2001 campaign by New York magazine if he had ever smoked it, Mr. Bloomberg replied: "You bet I did. And I enjoyed it." After he was elected and his remarks were used in advertisements by marijuana legalization advocates, Mr. Bloomberg said his administration would vigorously enforce the laws.
While marijuana laws have changed over time, and while past administrations have attempted to show that the situation isn't as dire as it appears to be, drug policy in the United States is immensely hypocritical and destructive. Today, public figures justify past drug use as "youthful indiscretions" and the matter is dropped. But huge numbers of ordinary Americans are introduced to the jail system because of minor drug offenses, and as the records show, the overwhelmingly disproportionate nature of drug arrests creates a justified perception of injustice and both economic and racial bias.
Will Michael Phelps have to go to court for his actions? No. (Nor should he have to.) Will any law enforcement jurisdiction in America conduct a systematic raid of a college dorm at a prominent university with the goal of arresting everyone in possession of marijuana? Of course not. If such an action was taken on a broad scale, the arrests would likely be in the thousands. At the same time, will poor Americans, overwhelmingly minority in ethnicity, continue to be arrested by local police for the possession of small amounts of pot? Absolutely.
Before he was president, Obama indicated that he was well aware that marijuana laws needed to be reformed and that the mythology of the "war on drugs" was nothing more than a fairy tale:
But this is only part of the problem. A 2006 ACLU report documented the difference in sentencing between the possession of crack and of cocaine:
The Anti-Drug Abuse Act of 1986, passed during the media frenzy following the death of University of Maryland basketball star Len Bias, established mandatory minimum sentences for possession of specific amounts of cocaine. However, it also established a 100-to-1 disparity between distribution of powder and crack cocaine. For example, distributing just five grams of crack carries a minimum five-year federal prison sentence, while distributing 500 grams of powder cocaine carries the same sentence. The discrepancy remains despite repeated recommendations by the U.S. Sentencing Commission to Congress to reconsider the penalties.
Because of its relative low cost, crack cocaine is more accessible to poor people, many of whom are African Americans. Conversely, powder cocaine is much more expensive and tends to be used by more affluent white Americans.
The report includes recent data that indicates that African Americans make up 15 percent of the country's drug users, yet they make up 37 percent of those arrested for drug violations, 59 percent of those convicted, and 74 percent of those sentenced to prison for a drug offense. More than 80 percent of the defendants sentenced for crack offenses are African American, despite the fact that more than 66 percent of crack users are white or Hispanic.
In the past, Obama has spoken out against the continuation of policies like this one. From a 2007 interview:
Asked if he would eliminate discriminatory laws that punish crack cocaine possession so heavily that it would take 100 times more in powder cocaine for the same sentence, Obama started off by saying the law was a mistake. He talked about his record in the Illinois Senate.
"I want to point out that I fought provisions like this and in many cases voted against provisions like this, knowing the way they could be exploited politically," Obama told the Trotter Group of African-American newspaper columnists last week after addressing the National Association of Black Journalists. "I thought it was the right thing to do. Even though the politics of it was tough back in the '90s, as a state legislator I took some tough votes to make sure we didn't see the perpetration of these kinds of unjust laws."...
...He said that if he were to become president, he would support a commission to issue a report "that allows me to say that based on the expert evidence, this is not working and it's unfair and unjust. Then I would move legislation forward."
In that same interview, Obama linked drug problems to larger issues of economic and opportunity disparities in America:
Obama asked if he could make a "broader" point. "Even if we fix this, if it was a 1-to-1 ratio, it's still a problem that folks are selling crack. It's still a problem that our young men are in a situation where they believe the only recourse for them is the drug trade. So there is a balancing act that has to be done in terms of, do we want to spend all our political capital on a very difficult issue that doesn't get at some of the underlying issues; whether we want to spend more of that political capital getting early childhood education in place, getting after-school programs in place, getting summer school programs in place."
Addressing the economic and social situations which encourage people to use and sell drugs is critical. But it is also important to take advantage of changing public attitudes in order to do away with hypocritical drug policies that undermine public faith in an impartial justice system and disproportionately harm segments of society which are already teetering on the brink of collapse. Public apologies like those issued today by Phelps ring hollow because he will not be persecuted for his actions by either a court of law or the court of public opinion. The fact the he feels he must apologize is simply an effort to pay homage to past American mores that no longer impact private behavior. But those mores still impact drug policies, policies that continue to hurt citizens to this very day. Some steps to mitigate the worst impacts of these broken laws, like those governing sentencing for crack/cocaine offenses have been taken in recent years. Let's hope that President Obama, who saw the impact of bad drug laws first-hand in Chicago, will continue these reforms.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Does Jessica Need Diet Pills


I was interviewing Jessica Simpson on the phone the other day.

"Hey, Jessica, what do you say about the rumors that you're getting fat?"

"Well, I..." Suddenly it sounded like a knock at her door.

"Hold on. It's Pizza Hut."

"Okay, I'm back. What was the question?"

"People are saying you've put on weight."

I heard the door knock again.

"Hold on. It's Round Table."

"Okay, whew, I'm back. Well, I..."

There was that door again.

"Just one minute. I think it's Straw Hat."

I heard a sound like someone stuffing their face with an entire large pizza. There was grunting and a long burp.

"Jessica, is that you?"

"Uh, no," she replied. "It's Tony...Tony Romo...he's hungry."

Time for diet pills, Jessica, I thought to myself.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Did You Ask Me What I like About Delfina?

Did you ask me what I like about Delfina? Was that you or someone else? Because somebody asked me that question the other day and I was either too busy or too distracted to give them a quality response. So here goes--the top 5 reasons why I like Delfina:

1.) Delfina serves good food simply. I hate it when decent chefs show off and put strawberries on salmon or use 45 ingredients to make a $30 version of mac and cheese. Delfina serves food that uses great ingredients and then gets out of the way. I am so tired of heavily sauced, cheese covered and over seasoned food.
2.) The service is prompt, non-threatening and non-formulaic. I am so tired of servers wearing tuxedos and exhibiting little or zero personality. Every member of the wait staff at Delfina wears their own clothes, without the silly hats or vests covered with buttons that say things like “Ask Me About Our Chicken Wings”.
3.) The wine list at Delfina is not pretentious and way out there somewhere in monetary stratosphere. A lot of restaurants in this town feature wine lists with bottles starting at $70, with an average price of around $120. That’s fine if your last name is Getty or Gates, but don’t these places realize we’re in a recession? Give me a decent red for $40. Why not? Delfina sells wines in all price categories so there’s something for non-wine snobs like me.
4.) Another reason I like Delfina: Roasted Fulton Valley chicken with olive oil and mashed potatoes and king trumpet mushrooms ($18.00); Wild nettle ravioli stuffed with Bellwether sheep’s milk ricotta and walnuts ($18.00) Salt cod mantecato with walnut oil and fennel seed flatbread ($10.50); and a wonderful homemade mozzarella with crostini ($10.00). That’s what I had there the other night and I’m still thinking about how good it was! And I didn’t go broke either!
5.) The people at Delfina are nice. I know that sounds kind of trite, but it’s so true. They make you feel welcome, and they put you in a relaxed mood immediately. I am so tired of the so-called “hip” places here in the city that specialize in ignoring you if you’re not Gavin Newsom or Barry Zito. Delfina treats everyone as if they were the Mayor or even an overpaid washed up major league pitcher.

Delfina
3621 18th Street
San Francisco, CA
www.delfina.com
(415) 552-4055

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Display It Right with a Top-Tier Cardboard Display

Display It Right with a Top-Tier Cardboard Display. In the new world of POP (point-of-purchase) advertising, cardboard displays are high-tech, low-cost, big-impact vehicles for effectively displaying and marketing your products. If you want to sell something on the retail level, you have to make sure the public can see it, view it unimpeded, gain access to it and enjoy the experience you've created with the product. Well-designed cardboard displays will achieve this for you--and much, much more! All you have to do is check out www.creativedisplaysnow.com and see what they have to offer. You'll be amazed!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Cougar Attack!

The other day I was talking to a rather attractive, post-50-year-old woman in a bar when I referred to her as a “cougar”. To say the least, she didn’t appreciate it.
“I am not a cougar, you idiot!” she exclaimed. “A cougar is not a nice thing to call any woman and if I was a little more intoxicated, I’d slap you so hard that your ears would ring!”
Wow. That was the wrong thing to say. This woman had come at me like an angry rabid, well—cougar. I was surprised by her negative reaction because I thought I was giving her a compliment. I was trying to tell her that she was good-looking and probably capable to attracting young men into her lair. She explained that a cougar was a female who preyed on men much younger than herself. Oh well, live and learn.
When I told my fiancée what had happened, she had the same reaction (after interrogating me about why I was talking to a hot woman in a bar)
“What were you thinking?” she queried, with a look on her face that always stops me in my tracks. “Don’t be calling women cougars, you slob!”
Ouch! Obviously older ladies don’t like the new “C” word.
So, I did a little research and this is what I found:
First, I went to Wikipedia and saw this definition:
Cougar – an older woman, usually in her 40s or older, who usually sexually pursues men in their 20s and 30s.The term has been used in (American) TV series, advertising and film. The 2007 film Cougar Club was dedicated to the subject.
Then I started Googling all over the Internet to learn more. I found out that cougars have been around a long time. So much so, that there are now cougar dating sites (http://www.gocougar.com/), cougar chat rooms, cougar social clubs and even cougar clothing lines. Cougar hookups that last more than one drunken night are called “age gap relationships” and terms like “cradle robber” and “baby snatcher” are now considered boorish.
So, now I know. No more calling women cougars. And no more talking to 50ish women in bars. Not if I still want to get married to my 46-year-old fiancée in May!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

A Random Thought

Every once in a while someone appears in one of my dreams and says something so random, so unrelated to absolutely anything, that it's quite honestly disturbing and confusing. Like last night, I was having a pleasant dream in which I was rowing a boat down a peaceful and serene river, the wind in my hair and the sun on my scalp, when suddenly, Mr. Ed the Talking Horse (from the TV show of the 1960's) showed up and said, "Industrial knobs." I was like, "What did you just say?" And Mr. Ed replied, "Industrial knobs. They're the future. Get on the industrial knobs bandwagon right now. Early adopters will make big hay." And with that, he disappeared, leaving me to wonder what he meant. I hate that, but it happens all the time. What did Mr. Ed really mean? And what should I do about it? I don't know about you, but I'll be Googling "Industrial knobs" right now. What does this horse know that I'm not aware of? And whay is he telling me about it in my dreams? (Stay tuned.)

Sunday, January 04, 2009

No, You're Not Drunk! It's Just Greg Pike and His Amazing Pets!

When I first saw Greg Pike's cat-on-dog with rats on display in San Francisco, I thought I was hallucinating.

There is a guy who has been walking through the Marina in San Francisco recently with his very own small circus. It’s a fascinating sight that snarls pedestrian traffic and draws a crowd wherever it goes. It’s one of the strangest things I’ve ever witnessed and I can’t help but write about it.

The best way I can describe it is a cat and two rats on top of a dog. I know that it sounds like something out of a Dr. Seuss story, but it’s true. The dog is a Rottweiler Lab mix and on his back he is carrying a American Tabby. Draped around the cat’s neck are two pet rats. This menagerie of four creatures is an amazing sight, to say the least.

The man behind the madness is Greg Pike, a 40-something drifter from Telluride, Colorado who has an uncanny ability to make animals do whatever he desires, it seems. When I asked him how his foursome of pets came together, stacked upon each other and apparently okay with it, he said, “I did it because people said it couldn’t be done.”

The stunt has gained Pike national recognition and garnered him more than his requisite 15 minutes of fame. He and his animals have been featured on David Letterman, CNN, and are a favorite on YouTube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D85yrIgA4Nk

I spent a couple of hours with Pike the other day and it was fascinating to see how people (mostly tourists visiting San Francisco) reacted to the spectacle. Most were enthralled and eager to ask questions. “Do they ever fight?” “What are their names?” “Can I pet the dog?” “Can I hold one of the rats?” Pike is very cordial and extremely patient, especially with kids. He asks for donations, but isn’t pushy about it.

Some passers by are immediately skeptical. One woman said, “You must have drugged those poor animals!” Pike’s response was, “What would I drug them with?” He pretty much blew her off. Why can’t folks just take something wonderful at face value, rather than look for a conspiracy? I was not as nice to the woman. “We gave her your Xanax!” I replied.

Pike puts it all in perspective. He realizes that he isn’t changing the world with his canine, feline and mouse mountain, but he also believes that if he can slightly alter one person’s attitude about how humans and animals need to live together in peace, natural enemies or not, then it’s a worthwhile endeavor to him.

“People try to call me a ‘pet whisperer’, but I’m just a simple guy who taught a couple of creatures a few tricks,” he said. “Some writer called me a modern day St. Francis and I laughed. It’s gained me a little fame and I’m happy for it. I’m not using it to preach or politicize or anything like that. I just thought people would enjoy seeing it, so I’m out here.”
Copyright © 2008 Ed Attanasio
Ed Attanasio is a writer for BrooWaha San Francisco. For more information, visit the author's website.

Friday, January 02, 2009

A Tough Writing Assignment

When I do these postings sometimes, they ask me to write about things that I know little about. It's difficult to write something and sound knowledgeable when you aren't familiar with the subject. Like this posting, for instance. They asked me to write about bearings. What the heck do I know about bearings? Very little. So, I ask myself--how would the great Ernest Hemingway write about bearings? What would the legendary writer find interesting and intriguing about bearings? Bearings, as far as I know, help things turn--such as wheels and conveyors and many of the moving parts found in automobiles. Would Hemingway be able to capture all this in approximately 60 words? If he could, he's a better man than I!