Pluto is the victim of bad PR

Poor Pluto. Maybe if you had just called once in a while. How hard is it to pick up the phone? Would hosting an open house every so often have killed you? We never really got to know you, Pluto -- so downgrading you wasn't that big a deal. We're sure you're nice. Probably a lot of fun at parties. It's just that you never wanted to hang with the rest of the Universe. You acted so distant all the time. You're obviously a loner. Sorry it has to be this way, Pluto. Can we still be friends? Being a moon isn't the end of the world, you know! (Caption: Is this Pluto and its big brother Neptune or an ad for a bocce ball tournament?)

The Boston Dead Sox

(Photo caption: It's okay Theo, but if I were you, I'd start updating my resume!)

Poor beantown. Everyone on the slumping Boston Red Sox (2-12 last 14 games) is injured, and those who are still playing are putting out performances that are hurtful to the eyes. David Ortiz has heart problems, Manny Ramirez is a head case, and the entire squad is jumping off the Bosox bandwagon faster than you can say "El Foldo." The Red Sox have the second highest payroll in the AL, but are sixth out of 14 teams in winning percentage. Their payroll is twice that of Minnestota's, yet the Red Sox trail the Twins by six games in the wild-card race. Every day it just seems to get uglier. Yesterday they put overweight and out-of-shape pitcher David Wells on the trading block; fans and the media are starting to get all over superboy GM Theo Epstein for some questionable moves before the season began; they made a big deal out of getting catcher Javy Lopez from Baltimore and he is hitting a dismal .214 for them; and they're being heavily criticized for picking up rag-armed castoff pitchers from out-of-contention teams (Jason Johnson from Cleveland and Kyle Snyder from Kansas City) who played poorly and are now gone. Could this be the curse of Babe Ruth revisited? Babe had a sick sense of humor which means he would have enjoyed this. Are the Red Sox dead? Is there a mortician in the house?