Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Glad to See You Again!

Every once in awhile a guy by the name of Gladiator Joe enters my dreams. He's from the days of the Romans and he's a really good, yet highly misunderstood person. We talk about his concerns, my dreams, his beliefs and my life and it's always a very educational experience for both of us.

He tells me what it was like to be a gladiator back in his time and I relate to him how it is to live in 2008. I try to answer his questions about cars (I call them "motorized chariots") TV ("a box that glows and shows pictures") and the Internet ("a smaller box full of fairly useless information") and he gives me his opinions about fighting lions, chasing wenches, drinking wine and killing Christians. It's always a very wide ranging and highly entertaining conversation every time he does a cameo in my dreams.

Last night he showed up while I was playing tennis with Arthur Ashe. We took a break so I could talk to him.
"Hey, Joe, what do you know?"

"I'm fine, Edmund. How are you today?"

"Thanks for showing up when you did, Joe. Ashe was kicking my butt."

"What is this game you're playing?" Joe inquired.

"It's called tennis."

"Does the loser die in this contest of skill?"

"Uh, no--it's not that kind of game."

"What's wrong, Joe? I see you're limping. Did you try to mix it up with another Gaul again?"

"No, I hurt my foot running from a tiger in the pit."

"That'll do it every time."

"Do you know anything about foot pain, Citizen Edmund?" Joe was always looking for modern-day medical advice.

"Where's it hurt?"

Joe pointed to the bottom of his right foot.

"That might be waht they call Plantar Fasciitis," I offered.

"Plantar what?"

"It's a very painful foot condition in the heel and arch area. I had it once. Let me do a little research on the condition and I'll let you know what I've learned the next time you appear in one of my dreams."

"Thank you Edmund--I'm always able to rely on your expansive knowledge, You would have surely been a great and respected ruler if you had lived in my time."

"No doubt, Joe. And one more thing--please call me Ed. Only my parents call me Edmund."

And with that, Gladiator Joe exited from my dream as quickly as he had appeared.