Why is Richard Sore?

Poor Mr. Simmons. He came out too quickly with his newest diet scenario and it tanked. Now he is getting chubbier right before our very eyes. Maybe he will really Jump The Shark soon, at which point we will no longer be forced to listen to his shrill cries and annoying diatribes. Richard just hasn't stayed up with the new things that are happening in the weight loss industry. Dancing to the Oldies and a deck of cards just doesn't cut it anymore with today's more sophisticated and well-informed dieters. For one, diet pills are much improved--more effective, but most importantly--safer. Today, people want something reliable and natural, if possible--not some whining little chubster in short shorts doing burpees to Frankie Valli songs.