Sunday, January 03, 2010

Graduate to The Next Level

We're a while from graduation plans, but if you're moving onto the next level of life in May/June 2010, get onboard with the plans and buy yourself some high-quality, very attractive and timely photo graduation invitations. A nice photo graduation invite will make you look good as you graduate to REAL LIFE. You worked hard studying, drinking beer, brown-nosing your teachers and parents, and just generally slid through school. Celebrate! Work your relatives for large cash graduation gifts and figure out how you can get the most $$ in your life without working hard or getting caught!

Fat Comics Die Young!

I was a bad fat comedian. Now I'm a slightly chubby former comic. But, I'm ALIVE! When I lose the final 40 pounds I need to shed, I'll be ecstatic. When I look back at the way I lived for 40-plus years, it's amazing I'm not just as dead as Belushi, Candy, Kinnison or Fatty Arbuckle. Those guys never really had a chance to take advantage of the top weight loss pills on the market today. Like my doctor said to me, "You don't see a lot of obese people in their 70's & 80's." Think about it!