Tuesday, July 18, 2006
I want a monkey bad. I've never had one, but I bet they're a blast. Monkeys are like dogs, only smarter. I don't think you can legally have them in California, although it doesn't say anything about no monkeys in our lease. With 3 dogs already, I don't think Angelina would go for it! My friend had a chimp way back when, but I wouldn't want a chimp. All they do is play with themselves and fling poo. No, I want a spider monkey or something smaller and less obnoxious. Why did I post this useless information? Was it because I wanted to get the fact that I desire a monkey as a pet off my chest? Or was it because I found this cute picture of a monkey and I wanted to put it on my blog? I'll never tell!
Well, I've been doing this blog for 2 weeks now, and the reviews are coming in. And, as a whole, they are less than positive. Here they are:
"Why on earth would anyone want to read it? It seems really vain to me to have a blog about your life. Who cares?"
-My supportive MOM
"Reading someone's blog is like reading their bad poetry. Tedious and boring."
-My even more supportive BROTHER
"What's the matter? Did you quit drinking?"
-A supportive FRIEND
"Just keep my name and my picture off it, and we won't have any problems."
-My supportive FIANCEE
You know, what, screw you all! I love my blog and I'm not doing it for anyone but me. I have tried to make it more than just a diary, with articles and jokes and stories, but the critics are hovering in the blog shadows, hatin' and dissin'. I'll get famous from this blog you'll see. I'll get a movie deal or a book deal or I'll trade a big red paper clip for a house, and then you'll all be sorry!!
If nothing else, blogging occupies my free time, helping to keep me out of the Bus Stop (a great bar on Union Street, precisely 2 blocks or 188 steps from my house -- I highly recommend it, but you have to go in there on weekdays. That's when the bartender is Paulie, an incredible guy! ); away from the racetrack (Bay Meadows or Golden Gate Fields, wherever they're running at the time); and clear of any other trouble I might decide to get myself into while idle.
If you happen to like my blog, I am really down right now and need your support more than ever. E-mail me at: email@example.com and tell me what you honestly think of this blog.