Friday, September 19, 2008

A Funeral Intervention

Bill had passed away suddenly and I was damned if I was going to let his brother Hector fall by the wayside as well. A funeral is not the best time for an intervention, but it had to happen. It was now or never, I thought. I pulled Hector aside and let him know the facts.

"Okay, Heck (we called him 'Heck') I know you're on drugs and I want you to get into a drug treatment center. I don't want you to die young like your brother did. I want you in a drug treatment center today. The dying stops here."

"But, I only have one addiction left. I got off the sauce and I stopped smoking, you know that."

"So, what's your remaining addiction? Meth? Coke? Wii?"

"Uh, I don't really want to say. At least not here."

"Wipe that silly grin off your face or I'll do it for you. I don't care if it's your brother's wake or not. Tell me what you're addicted to right now or I'll let everyone here know you're still using."

"But, I..."

"No excuses, man. Spill it or I start talking. Your mom won't be happy when she finds out...."

"No, way...I..." Hector was starting to tear up and his face was reddening at an alarming rate."


"Okay, okay. If you must know, it's Taco Bell. I'm addicted to Taco Bell! I love the Enchirito, and the new Fajitas! I'm hooked, I admit it. Now get off my back!"

Wow, I thought to myself. It was worse than I imagined.

I wasn't going to solve this today. So, I backed off. The kid had been through enough already. But, I'll never stoop trying. I love this poor slob too much to give up on him.

( be continued...)