Admin Jobs Online

If you're looking for admin jobs online, you should really know more about http://www.administrativejobs.com/, a great Web site that features tons of administrative jobs of all kinds. As the economy weakens, good admin people are going to be more important than ever. They are pretty secure positions when you think about it--big-time managers with big salaries will get dumped when things get tough, but a good secretary is indispensable to a success of a company. A lot of people have lost their livelihoods this year (approx. 700,000 to-date), but top-flight admin workers will be around for the duration, I believe!

Don't Mess With Housewives!

The vacuum cleaner salesman dumped a big bag of sawdust on the living room floor and smiled.

Susie Housewife was not amused.

"You had better clean that up right now," she scolded the salesman, causing his beady little eyes to glaze over, like a bullfrog using his second eyelid.

"No problem, Miss...I."

"Because if you don't, I'll have to pull out my brand new Electrolux vacuum. Electrolux vacuums make yours look like a child's toy. They have more suction; they are easy to use; they never break and they don't cost a fortune. Should I continue?"

"Well, uh,..this premier vacuum does so many things, it.."

"Stop!"

"But, I..."

"You're wasting my time. You're trying to sell me a Hyundai and I already have a Ferrari. I have an Electrolux. What part of that don't you understand?"

"But, I..."

"You already said that. Clean up this mess and then hit the road, whatever your name is. If you don't say another word, maybe I'll let you borrow my Electrolux!"

Love Lost & Found

We walked hand in hand, down the road that Carl Sandburg said should be avoided at all costs.

"You give good shadow," she said.



"What?" She often caught me off-guard and I loved it.



"Your shadow--it's nice; no jagged edges."



"Uh, really? Thanks." I mean, how does someone respond to that?



"My ex-boyfriend had a really obtuse shadow and the first time I saw it, I knew we were over. I told him about it and he just looked at me and said, 'I've lost you.' I couldn't believe it."



She came up for a breath and starting speaking before I could squeeze a word in.



"So, I told him--if you want to re-find me--get a clue. Hold me once in a while. Make my tea. Pay attention to me. And respect my shadow. And while you're at it, get a Garmin GPS, the number one navigation system in the world today. You'll never lose me again if you get a Garmin GPS."



I was stunned. Like a 5-year-old hooked on bad phonics, I found my way around several very meaningful words but that was all.


She had made her point.

Subtlety wasn't her strong suit.

Billiards: A Rich History

I must admit that I am a lousy pool player. Every time I play billiards, I embarrass myself with inept play and countless errors, kind of like the Chicago Cubs in the MLB postseason. I like to play; I'm just really bad. I found a web site the other day that dealt with the wonderful history of the sport in all its different forms. First off, if you did not already know it, there are three kinds of billiards. First, you have carom billiards, which is played on a table without pockets, including what they call balkline and straight rail, cushion caroms, three-cushion billiards and artistic billiards. (If you think straight billiards is tough, you have not tried carom billiards--it's even more difficult!) Second, you have pocket billiards, which is very popular in the United States and is generally played on a table with six pockets, including 8-ball, which is the world's most widely played form of billiards. Third, there's what is called Snooker. Snooker is technically pocket billiards and is classified as a completely different kind of game--one of the oldest and very popular in Europe. Mary Queen of Scots was buried wrapped in her billiard table cover in 1586. She must have really played a mean game of Snooker! Some of my favorite folks loved the game of billiards, including Mark Twain, Bob Hope, Babe Ruth, Jackie Gleason, Teddy Roosevelt, Lewis Carroll and W.C. Fields.

A Twain Wreck

Last night I dreamt that I was playing billiards with Mark Twain.

But, things were not going well with Mr. Samuel Clemens on this day. He was beating me like a rug at eight-ball and wasn't in a particularly good mood.

"Uh, Mr. Twain?" I asked.

"Yes, son?"


"Was Tom Sawyer a metaphor for society's mistreatment of the young?"


"No, son -- it was a reason to get paid. I started writing it hungover and was drunk when I finished it." He blew smoke in my face as he said it.


"Was Huckleberry Finn the devil?"


His cue froze mid-stroke. I could tell it was not a good question.


"Son, those are some of the most ignorant questions I have ever heard. You must have had a really terrible American Literature teacher. Either that or you were dropped as a child. Now, are we here to play pool or talk? Because I have a date with Mae West in about an hour."


Please let me wake up, I thought to myself.


But, just then he sunk the 8-ball.


These dead celebrity pool tournaments were not going well. Maybe it was time to take Bing Crosby up on his invitation to play golf.

Tommy Lasorda Rejected by The City by the Bay?

We've seen some pretty amusing pieces of legislation out of the Board of Supervisors, but this one beats them all: Supervisor Michela Alioto-Pier wants organizers of the San Francisco Italian American parade to boot Tommy Lasorda as grand marshal. And my initial question is: Doesn’t she have any more important things to do? Her district suffers from bad roads, bad drunks and a sagging economy (like everywhere else). Is Tommy Lasorda at the Italian American parade really reside at the top of her list or priorities?
For those of you who don’t know or care, Lasorda is the former manager of the Los Angeles Dodgers, who've had "an intense rivalry" with our hometown Giants for years and "nobody embodies that more than Tommy Lasorda," states the resolution.
The Giants aren't doing so great, it continues, and "Dodger fans are boastful and smug." Furthermore, there are "many other distinguished local Italian American athletes" like Giants pitcher Barry Zito "or even Joe Montana" who could do the important job of waving from a convertible. (I can see Montana, but Zito? He made a ton of cash from the Giants this season and played consistently bad baseball.
The parade is scheduled for Oct. 12, so Alioto-Pier is trying to get the legislation passed at the board's next meeting, Oct. 7.
But is this really how the supervisors should be spending their time?
"We can't have Tommy Lasorda come to San Francisco for the Italian American parade!" Alioto-Pier said. "He's like enemy No. 1 right now. If you don't think this is important, you should move to L.A."

Colon cleanse

What is the state of your colon? As you get older, you should really consider doing a colon cleanse. It's a great way for you to clear out your colon and get a fresh jolt of energy. You'll just feel lighter on your feet and free of toxins when you do it. I was skeptical about the entire process. Some friends of mine kept recommending it, but I kind of scoffed at the whole idea. But, eventually I thought -- why not? If it has worked for these folks, maybe there is some truth to the effectiveness. So, I have it a try and believe me--it was more than worth it.

How's the Economy in Brazil?

With the U.S. on the verge of the next Great Depression, we're starting to look at some other countries that might be better places to live. Sure, it's a tongue in cheek posting, but not that far from the truth. A friend of mine suggested Brazil. He said the weather is great, the economy is in much better shape than ours is (not a huge surprise!) and they're a lot greener, as most of the people there drive diesel vehicles. So, if we get a chance, we'd like to visit Brazil. We've looked online and there are a top of great Brazil vacation packages out there right now. Sure, we love the U.S. and there's little chance we'd ever leave, but the way things are looking here, you never know!

Rudy II

If you have ever seen the film Rudy, then you know that it’s about a kid who wills his way onto the Notre Dame Fighting Irish football team against incredible odds. Rudy is a 1993 film directed by David Anspaugh. It is an account of the life of Daniel "Rudy" Ruettiger who harbored dreams of playing football at the University of Notre Dame despite significant obstacles. It was the first movie the Notre Dame administration allowed to be shot on campus since Knute Rockne, All American in 1940. In 2005 Rudy was named one of the best 25 sports movies of the previous 25 years in two polls by ESPN (#24 by a panel of sports experts, and #4 by espn.com users).
In the movie, the main character Rudy Ruettiger defies all odds to make the team. He doesn’t have the grades, so he goes to another college to get them, and he doesn’t have the money, but he works his tail off to get to the necessary funds. Rudy wasn’t a very good football player—he was slow and undersized—but he wouldn’t take no for an answer and eventually made the team at Notre Dame. He gets in for one play late in a meaningless game and his teammates pull for him, because the one thing he has cannot be denied—and it’s called “desire.”
This movie is significant to me because I happen to know a real-life Rudy. His name is Christopher Gurries, and he is the son of my best friend from high school. Chris walked-on at Notre Dame and miraculously made the team. A star at Bishop Manogue High School in Reno, he was a very good football player. Since no major Division I colleges recruited him, he decided to not play football and attend Notre Dame.
During his freshman year, Gurries walked on and although he didn’t make the team that time, he didn’t give up, either. This off-season, he worked hard and trained like crazy. Well, it all paid off; because Gurries made the team as one of the few walk-ons to successfully make the varsity.
Whether he gets significant playing time is another question entirely. But, it doesn’t matter—because he made the team and will be able to tell his kids and grandchildren that along with Knute Rockne, Joe Montana and the Gipper, he played for the Fighting Irish and made the squad.
Congratulations to Christopher Gurries. You’re our Rudy and we admire your passion. Look for him this year if you ever get the chance to watch a Notre Dame game. He’s number 38, a 5’10” 180 lb. long snapper and wide receiver with a heart bigger than South Bend.

Leptitrex is a Miracle Diet Pill

There is a drug out there called Leptitrex that has been so popular that it's soemtimes difficult to find. Leptitrex has been very successful for people who want to lose weight without ever changing their diet one iota. The overwhelming response has people clamoring for this stuff. Leptitrex will help you lose weight immediately--I have heard of people losing more than a pound per day. Remember: I have tried many of these diet pills, and I always warn my readers--do not use these unless you talk to your doctor first. That's very important, because you never know how your body will react to these drugs.