No More Anxiety!

Today was a big day when I found out if I need to continue on this journey or not, but for some reason, I'm not anxious about it anymore. When I found out last Wednesday that I might have prostate cancer, it hit me hard. I've been trying so damn hard to stay healthy; exercising every day and eating right, and now this thing comes out of left field? While some people have nerves of steel and can be stoic in stressful situations, I'm not one of them. I thought of crumbling like a bleu cheese, but instead I'm coming back harder than a parmigiano-reggiano.

Friday night for some reason was really tough as I made a lame attempt to shed a barrage of depressing thoughts without success. I  tried to clear my mind, but the more you try the worse it gets. But, after writing my first blog about this experience and posting it on Facebook on Saturday, all of my anxiety went away suddenly and completely.

So much that when I was waiting around for today's appointment, I still remained calm. Now, how is that happening, I asked myself?  I guess when you're in it, you just figure out how to deal. The wonderful response I got from so many of my friends on Facebook surely didn't hurt. People from as far back as elementary school shared their experiences about cancer through comments or private messages and I want to thank all of you. It meant so much you can't imagine.

So, what did the doctor tell me today? Well, my PSA number went down slightly (from 11 to 10), but not dramatically enough to bypass a biopsy. So, in two weeks, I'll be getting a biopsy to determine if I have prostate cancer or something else.

Sure, it's still scary, but now I have a lot more information and even though I'm not sleeping well, I am fine and prepared for whatever transpires. During this process, I found out that a friend of mine is also in the same boat as I am. He is getting his biopsy next week, so we've decided to start a two-man support team to help us through this ordeal.

I told him that in October when we're both cancer-free or at least on the road to remission, we can dress up as the Biopsy Twins for Halloween. Hopefully we'll be looking back on this period soon and say--it all came out just fine.

Did you read the Bobbsey Twins series when you were a kid?

Or maybe we'll go this route

But not this one

It's been an unusual week, to say the least, but something amazing has happened during that time, so I'm riding it. I think we all find an inner strength when we need it, to survive and make it to the next day intact mentally and physically, and at this point, I'm not going to argue with the results or freak out about the future.