Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Playing Golf with the Two Babes

I had another strange dream last night. I was playing golf with Babe Ruth and Babe Didrickson and they were taking turns kicking my derriere. I am not what you call even a decent golfer, but I usually can at least win when I'm dreaming.

Babe Ruth birdied the fifth hole and Didrickson eagled the sixth. I double-bogeyed both of them.

I hope we're not playing for money, I thought.

"Hey, keed, ya play like a duffer. Isn't this supposed to be YOUR dream?" The Bambino was needling me.

"Yeah, that's pretty pathetic. We're skunking you and you're supposed to be calling the shots." Didrickson said. "Not only are you getting spanked by a girl and a fat guy, but we've both been dead for more than 50 years."

"Make that 70, Babe, at least for me." the Sultan of Swat replied.
"That's right, Babe." Didrickson said. "I forgot that you've been gone that long."
"But, I can still smack the ball, uh?"
"No doubt," Babe said to Babe.

"And you have the advantage of using superior equipment. Just think how good we'd be able to play back then with the new clubs and balls these pros use today. Take the Cobra golf drivers and irons, for instance." Ruth was making a point while smoking a cigar and eating a hot dog.

"Exactly big boy. Cobra makes precision clubs featuring dual weighting systems, a large face area, and maraging steel free inserts. Their fastback crown design and custom sole are state-of-the-art." Didrickson said.

"Honey, can you imagine how good we'd be if we had Cobra golf clubs way back then?"

"Aww, forget about it! Tiger Woods would be carrying my bag."

Both Babes threw back their heads and laughed heartily. Ruth even sprayed a little mustard on my nice golf sweater.
I woke up-sweating profusely and 12 strokes down.

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