Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Mark Your Calendar: 12-21-12

What would you do if you knew with certainty that the world would end in less than five years? I mean, not just speculation or conjecture -- but what if you really knew the exact date on which our entire civilization would cease to exist? How would it change your life?

I know what I’d do. First, I would tell my rather annoying boss to shove it (which would undoubtedly lead to my eventual termination), withdraw all of the money from my bank account and head to Europe to party and travel and just hitch hike around. I would probably make Amsterdam my headquarters, journeying from time-to-time to places like Spain, France, Germany, Italy and Greece, depending on the season.

I’d run with the bulls, hit Oktoberfest, spend summers on the beach in Greece and along the Amalfi Coast in Italy. I’d eat the best food and drink the best wine and meet great people and live a carefree life right up until doomsday. Or until my cash ran out.

The reason I am mentioning this is because lately I have heard a lot of talk about the end of the world. The date everyone is targeting is December 21, 2012. The main reason for this particular date is that’s the very last day listed on the Mayan calendar. The Mayans were a bloodthirsty race that was very adept at building extremely sophisticated astrological equipment when they weren’t killing other tribes and sacrificing virgins.

The Mayan calendar, created thousands of years ago, is uncannily accurate – scientists and astronomers have marveled at its precise nature for centuries. The achievement is even more incredible when you consider the fact that the Mayans did it all without telescopes or satellites.

One of the most amazing things about the Mayans is their calculation of the lunar moon. They came up with the number of 329.53020 days, which turned out to be only 34 seconds off. That is incredible when you think about how long ago they lived on this planet. It also makes you wonder if they had any help from extraterrestrials, but that’s a whole other topic.

Then, when you add in several other factors besides the Mayans, 12-21-12 starts to look even more possible, if not probable:

Sun storms: Our sun has been acting quirky lately, bombarding the Earth with so much radiation energy that it’s been knocking out power grids and destroying satellites.
The Atom Smasher: Scientists in Europe are constructing the world’s largest particle accelerator – a 27 km tunnel designed to smash atoms together in order to determine the origins of our universe. But, some experts are saying that using this device is not a smart move and could eventually lead to some catastrophic results, like creating tiny black holes, capable of crushing our planet like an empty beer can.
The religious factor: Even the religious prognosticators agree that 2012 is a probable date for the end of the world as we know it. The Christians say that Armageddon, the definitive war between good and evil, is going to occur on or around 2012, and the Hindus are on board as well. If you read the I Ching (aka The Chinese Book of Changes, which you won’t find on Oprah’s Book of the Month Club), you’ll also see that they are predicting the same.
Super Volcanoes: Yellowstone National Park is home to the world’s biggest volcano, one that has a pattern of exploding every 650,000 years. Well, it’s way overdue and scientists are starting to worry about an eruption that could send us into a winter that could last for approximately 15,000 years. When it does blow, it will make Mt. St. Helens look like a small fart.
The Pole Dance: The North and South Poles like to switch places every 750,000 years or so, and right now they’re about 30,000 years behind schedule. Scientists have noticed that they’re drifting slowly apart (approximately 20-30 kilometers per year), much faster than ever. A pole shift is eminent, we know that. But, will it cause havoc by 2012?

Many people have predicted the end of the Earth in the past and, of course, they were wrong. A group of people in the Philippines predicted the demise of the planet in 1999. They went into a cave for a month or so with rations, etc. Boy, they must have really felt dumb when they emerged from that cave and saw that not only was the planet still around – but someone had built a new Wal-Mart in Manila!

12-21-12. Will it be the end of the world? Or just another big shopping day? I don’t want to be in a position to say I told you so, because it will be the last thing I will ever say. But, as all my friends will tell you, I enjoy getting in the last word.

Were the Mayans right? Will 12-21-12 be our last hurrah? We’ll know in about 1,797 days, now won’t we?

1 comment:

Rousty Rollie Rogenhower said...

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