Kissimme is a Great Vacation Spot for the Whole Family

Kissimmee in Florida is a totally excellent place to take a vacation. There isn’t anything actually like a Kissimmee vacation, believe me. Travelers in enormous numbers have sought out Kissimmee since its earliest days as a center for agriculture and cattle ranching, and today the region’s popularity as a destination at the center of immense leisure, business and sporting pursuits is unmatched. If you’re looking for the complete package – somewhere where families, single people, male, female, young and old can really have an unforgettable experience, no other place has it all like Kissimmee, Florida.

He Wrote "Bang the Drum Slowly"

Mark Harris passed away recently. He was a great writer and a good friend. I met him through my membership with The Society for American Baseball Research (SABR). His most famous book was “Bang the Drum Slowly,” which was later made into a wonderful film starring Robert De Niro. Here is his obit. The man will be greatly missed.

Mark Harris, author of the acclaimed baseball novel "Bang the Drum Slowly," which he adapted for the 1973 movie starring Michael Moriarty and Robert De Niro, has died. He was 84.Harris, a retired Arizona State University professor of English who lived in Goleta, Calif., died of complications related to Alzheimer's disease Wednesday at Santa Barbara Cottage Hospital, said his son, Henry Harris.The author of 13 novels and five nonfiction books, Harris was best known for his four baseball novels narrated by Henry Wiggen, the ace left-handed pitcher for the fictional New York Mammoths: "The Southpaw" (1953), "Bang the Drum Slowly" (1956), "A Ticket for a Seamstitch" (1957) and "It Looked Like For Ever" (1979)."Bang the Drum Slowly," named one of the top 100 sports books of all time by Sports Illustrated, was the most popular of the four.The tragicomic tale of Wiggen and catcher Bruce Pearson, who is dying of Hodgkin's disease, "Bang the Drum Slowly" was adapted for a live 1956 segment of "The U.S. Steel Hour," starring Paul Newman as Wiggen and Albert Salmi as Pearson. In the movie version, Moriarty played Wiggen and De Niro played Pearson. The novel also was adapted as a stage play."Bang the Drum Slowly" has been praised for succeeding on two levels."Henry's deadpan vernacular account of life in the dugout is refreshing, lively, and often uproariously funny," a critic for the New York Herald Tribune Book Review wrote. At the same time, "his reactions to his doomed friend are poignant and profoundly touching."Cordelia Candelaria, the author of "Seeking the Perfect Game: Baseball in American Literature," has rated Harris' "The Southpaw" and "Bang the Drum Slowly" among the top five baseball novels ever written.Candelaria, who taught creative writing at Arizona State University at Tempe, said that Harris' contribution to American literature was not limited to his baseball writing, though his greatest influence, she said, was through the character of Wiggen."He's every bit as permanent and important as Huckleberry Finn, as Ishmael and Ahab in 'Moby Dick,' and as Nick Adams in Hemingway's short stories," Candelaria said. "Henry Wiggen struggles with his individuality, his place in society and the moral dilemmas he faces. All of those struggles are as much about him as an American character as they are about baseball."Harris, who played baseball as a boy and often wrote nonfiction pieces about baseball, was known for writing realistically about the sport in his novels."I can't stand fantasy, especially in baseball," he told The Times in 1994."It has to be real for me. I think people make fantasy of it who don't know how it works realistically. That is a demand I made when I was a kid — that baseball has to be done right.""Diamond," a collection of Harris' baseball essays written between 1946 and 1993, was published in 1994.Although his father was "most widely recognized for his baseball literature," Henry Harris said Thursday, "there are other novels in his canon that he felt were equally validating of what was important to him: He was a lifelong pacifist and proponent of racial justice."Harris' first novel, "Trumpet to the World," about a young black man who marries a well-to-do white girl, was published in 1946.Added Henry Harris: "I think he expressed his pacifism in a uniquely dark way through a novel called 'Killing Everybody' in 1973, which was about the suffering of parents who had lost a child in a war."Born Mark Harris Finkelstein in Mount Vernon, N.Y. on Nov. 19, 1922, Harris legally changed his name in the 1940s when, his son said, "he was advised that his career as a writer would take better root if he did not go by a Jewish name." After serving in the Army during World War II, Harris worked as a newspaper and wire service reporter and as a writer for Negro Digest and Ebony magazines. He earned a bachelor's degree in English from the University of Denver in 1950, followed by a master's in English a year later. He received his doctoral degree in American Studies from the University of Minnesota in 1956.He taught in the English departments at the University of Minnesota, San Francisco State University, Purdue University, California Institute of the Arts, USC and the University of Pittsburgh, among others.Among his nonfiction books are "City of Discontent: An Interpretive Biography of Vachel Lindsay," "Mark the Glove Boy, or The Last Days of Richard Nixon," and "Saul Bellow: Drumlin Woodchuck."Harris was a professor of English at Arizona State University at Tempe, where he also taught creative writing, from 1980 to 2001.In addition to his son Henry, Harris is survived by his wife of 61 years, Josephine Horen; his daughter, Hester Harris; another son, Anthony; a sister, Martha Harris; and three grandchildren.

www.Chowbaby.com: Wine, Dine & Find It Online!

I am proud to announce that writing restaurant reviews for my blog during the past year (48 total) has finally paid off. I recently landed a great gig doing reviews for an exciting Web site called http://www.chowbaby.com/. This is the ultimate site for foodies and people who like to eat out. Their tagline is “Wine, Dine and Find It Online.” I have never seen such a comprehensive listing of restaurants in my life. Name a city in the United States and http://www.chowbaby.com/ has numerous restaurants with reviews from that city on their site. Not only that, but they also have a wide range of additional features, like where to find catering companies; an online bartender that will tell you how to make any cocktail you could possibly think of; wine reviews; and a wonderful set of food and beverage glossaries, defining terms on sushi, coffee, cooking, beer, tea, wine, spirits and cigars. As I write more for http://www.chowbaby.com/, I’ll keep you updated about this great site. I’m really excited to be working with them! If there’s one thing I like more than writing it’s food!

I'm Hooked on BrooWaha!

(For those of you who don't know, Broowaha is a citizen Internet newspaper that I write for. Check it out at: www.sf.broowaha.com.)

I have now written more than 100 articles for BrooWaha San Francisco and all I can say is that I’m just getting started. I’m hooked on the Broo. I find myself thinking day and night about what I want to write next for the site.

I’m obsessed. My friends think I’m doing crank. My fiancée thinks I’m cheating on her. “What are you doing in front of that damn computer day and night?” she says. “Are you downloading porn?

In late February, I saw a posting for the new SF BrooWaha on Craigslist and it instantly caught my eye. I had never even heard of such a thing as a citizen newspaper. Already an avid blogger, I had no idea what it was or how it worked. But, once I found out and e-mailed back and forth with BrooWaha Founder Ariel, I took to the concept immediately.

What I like about BrooWaha is that it is TRULY a citizen newspaper. I wish it had existed when I was a journalism major at San Jose State a long time ago. In the early ‘80’s, long before the Internet existed, there just wasn’t anywhere that a fledgling writer could get his or her stuff published. And if there was, you were pretty much relegated to writing about things they assigned you. The kind of things no one else wanted to write about -- like PTA meetings, neighborhood watch patrols and kindergarten bake sales. Or, worst of all, you got to write obituaries. Nothing will kill you faster than having to write obituaries, believe me.

BrooWaha is a wonderful vehicle for many reasons, but one of the most important ones is that you get to write about those things that particularly interest you. Whatever you’re into, you can find an audience on BrooWaha.

And the system that Ariel has created is pure genius. And I’m not saying that just to kiss his ass. People read your stuff and comment on it. They rate you on interest, writing, fairness, etc. and you receive immediate feedback. Most of the comments I’ve gotten from fellow BrooWaha’ers have been very constructive and intelligently written.

I realize I’m not writing cutting-edge investigative stuff. Most of my articles are celebrity bashing pieces, local restaurant reviews, sports stories and interviews with old baseball players. I know people aren’t going to be clamoring for my next installment. But, for those who do want to read my articles, there’s a place that they can see them, and it’s BrooWaha. It’s the ultimate venue for free expression.

I also enjoy reading other people’s articles and I have been pleasantly surprised to see all of the really well-written pieces that have come through here. I’m also pleased to see that from time to time some articles get picked up by sites like Google and Yahoo, meaning they get a lot of traffic and additional viewers.

I wrote one story about Michael Vick and dog fighting, and it got a very high rating on Google, which has resulted in a lot of hits. One SF BrooWaha writer, M.B. Dixon, wrote an article that got picked up by Netscape and has received more than 6,000 hits to date! I’ve seen the some phenomenon occur again and again with LA and NY BrooWaha, which have been around longer and are more popular. If you’re looking for exposure for your writing, BrooWaha has proven that it can help.

I’m addicted to BrooWaha, I admit it. And unless my fiancée or my friends hold an intervention and try to wean me off this thing, I plan on writing for this site for a long, long time.

I’d like to thank the people who’ve been so supportive and given me some great feedback over the past few months, like Bill Friday, El G, Heaviside, SavageLettuce, Venditto and rjlight.

I love BrooWaha and I don’t care who knows it!

The Blowup of Armando Benitez

Last night we witnessed the complete and total meltdown of a relief pitcher. Armando Benitez, the controversial, unpredictable closer for the San Francisco Giants blew a game in a fashion so embarrassing that it hurt to watch. It reminded me of all the other horrible meltdowns in sports history, like the 1951 Brooklyn Dodgers; the Buffalo Bills in the Super Bowl and Greg Norman in big golf tournaments.

If Benitez can bounce back after such a devastating collapse, God bless him. But, I wouldn’t be surprised at all if his decline rapidly gains momentum from this point on.

With the Giants leading by one run in the bottom of the 12th inning against the New York Mets, Benitez (0-3, 4.13 ERA with 9 saves in 17.3 innings do far this season) walked the Mets’ leadoff hitter, the speedy Jose Reyes. Giving the first hitter a free pass is never a good move, obviously, but this situation was made even worse, because runners steal on Armando like they’re crossing the street. To make matters worse, Benitez then balked Reyes to second, and then two outs later, balked him home for the tying run. It was the first time since 1988 that a pitcher balked twice in the ninth inning or later.

Then, obviously rattled, Armando gave up a game-winning home run to Carlos Delgado. Game over, Mets win 5-4. While the Mets went crazy, Benitez walked off the mound with his head down. As Delgado crossed home plate, he threw his glove in disgust.

It was the fourth straight loss for the Giants, but the effect of this one will linger for the rest of this season, because it revealed to the rest of the league one huge vulnerability with this squad. If you can get into the late stages of the game and the contest is close, you can beat the Giants’ closer. He is easily rattled and has the propensity to blow up faster than Rosie O’Donnell at a buffet.

Armando is done, in my opinion. With all of the great young starting pitchers that the Giants have on their roster, it’s a complete waste and a losing proposition to have a liability like Benitez trying to close out games. Blowing leads and walking batters is not what closers are paid to do. It’s time to come up with a Plan B, Giants, and the B doesn’t stand for Benitez.

Count those Calories...Absolutely FREE!

There’s a great free diet and fitness website out there called http://www.myfitnesspal.com/. It’s an amazing completely FREE site that will assist you in losing weight and getting yourself on the right track toward a healthier lifestyle. They have an incredible calorie counter that is fast and very easy to use – which means you’ll use it every day and it will become an integral and useful tool. It teaches you about the nutritional contents of what you’re consuming and help you make better food decisions. This free calorie counter is so important, because, in my experience, calories are sometimes hard to keep track of. Before you know it, your caloric intake can get up there, and that’s why calorie counting is so vital to a successful diet. http://www.myfitnesspal.com will help you lose weight the healthy way. Which means you won’t yo-yo and just gain the weight back. And the great thing is, your credit card stays in your purse or wallet. They’re no hidden charges – it’s absolutely FREE!

Unfunny and Uncouth: The Dice Man Stinketh

Every so often in the entertainment world, someone with no talent sneaks in under the radar and gains popularity for no logical reason, in my opinion. It doesn’t matter that they can’t sing, act or tell jokes, but somehow they’re in the right place at the right time and make it big. Certain rappers, bands and comedians fit neatly into this category. I have never understood how Insane Clown Posse, Vanilla Ice, Judy Tenuta or Emo Phillips, for example, ever sold a single album or CD.

Andrew Dice Clay is a poster child for this phenomenon. The fact that he’s been performing for more than 20 years makes me ill. He is the unfunniest individual on the planet.

I did standup myself for 12 years (I was pretty bad myself) so I know how tough a gig it is, but I have seen comedians here in San Francisco and down in LA at open mics, struggling just to get stage time, who are 20 times funnier than Andrew Dice Clay on their worst night. How this man has ever made a dime doing standup is one of the great mysteries of our time – kind of like the Big Foot and the Loch Ness Monster.

The fact that Comedy Central ranked him number 95 on their list of the 100 Greatest Stand-ups of All Time shows just how far our society has fallen. In 500 years, when our civilization has crumbled, historians will site Clay’s popularity as one of the early signs that led to the beginning of the end.

Clay started his career in 1984, doing nasty nursery rhymes and instructing men on how to abuse the opposite sex (like they needed training). In an interview back then, he cited his influences as Redd Foxx, George Carlin and Lenny Bruce, three comics who possess one quality Clay doesn’t – talent. It’s one thing to tell dirty jokes – Sam Kinnison, Bill Hicks and Richard Pryor (the greatest comedian of all time as far as I’m concerned) all worked blue and were very funny. But, Clay is dirty without the laughs. He’s abusive to women with no punch line. His routines are foul just for the sake of being foul. I’m so tired of hearing people defending by saying he’s a good family man. That’s like saying Hitler loved cats.

If it weren’t for the controversies he’s created over the years, the Diceman would never even be in the news. In 1989, Clay appeared on the MTV Video Music Awards where his raunchy act caused MTV to ban him from the network for life. When he hosted Saturday Night Live, Sinead O’Connor and Nora Dunn refused to appear. His movies have all bombed. The man’s only cinematic claim to fame is a disjointed, completely forgettable film named “The Adventures of Ford Fairlane” (1990). His Madison Square Garden performance film “Dice Rules” (1991) was banned in many cities and hundreds of theaters throughout the country refused to show it. He attacked deaf actress Marlee Matlin on his 1993 album, “The Day the Laughter Died, Part 2.” What a class act. Dropping F bombs is an easy way out when you don’t have material and Andrew Dice Clay has created a career around it.

His 1995 TV series, “Dice,” co-starring Cathy Moriarity, was unwatchable and came and went so fast few saw it. He did get a small film role in “One Night in McCool’s” (2001) featuring Matt Dillon and Michael Douglas. Now, he’s been reduced to performing the gambling circuit (Vegas, Atlantic City, Reno and a handful of Indian casinos), and is noticeably absent from TV and movies.

It appears as though the public has finally figured out what I’ve been saying for two decades – The Dice Man Stinketh. Hopefully he’ll fade away just as quickly as he reached the top. In other words, overnight.

Wasted Lives: A Classmate on Death Row

John Famalaro, also known as the “Cold Storage Killer,” was a classmate of mine. We both attended St. Michael’s Prep, a very strict Catholic boarding school in the city of Silverado, Calif. In 1975, we were roommates and got to know each other fairly well. Although he was a strange and sometimes very arrogant guy, I never suspected for a moment that he would go on to commit one of the most heinous crimes in Orange County’s history.

Now he sits on death row in San Quentin, awaiting execution. Living in San Francisco, I drive by the prison often, and every time I do I think of John. I think about how he wasted his life and ruined so many others. I wonder how he must feel sitting in a cell waiting to be put to death.

With the California death penalty enforced the way it is today, Famalaro will most likely die of old age before being executed. I’ve heard from some of my fellow classmates that he has embraced his Catholicism and is trying to counsel other inmates. He has found God a little too late.

I am disgusted, yet also intrigued by John’s story. If I could speak to him, I would ask him so many things. What led him to commit this unspeakable crime? Why did he keep the body in a freezer for so long, taking it with him from Orange County to Arizona? Did he feel remorse after he committed the murder or was he just numb? And how does it feel to be living in a cage, knowing day after day that the State of California wants you dead? Sometimes I feel like I should write him a letter, thinking that I might feel better if I can get some answers. But, I never will and I know it.

Here is John Famalaro’s story:

On June 3, 1991, 23-year-old Denise Huber pulls over on the side of
the Corona Del Mar Freeway in Orange County, Calif. to mend a flat
tire. She disappears without a trace. Lt. Ron Smith with the
help of the Costa Mesa Police Department, along with family and friends, search desperately for the young Californian native as this disappearance is in stark contrast with her character. Yet, like so many missing persons cases, all leads run dry and the investigation into Denise Huber's disappearance goes cold.

In 1994, a local paint shop owner, Elaine Court, makes an
arrangement to purchase paint from Prescott, Arizona local John
Famalaro. Upon this visit, Court notices a Ryder Truck in the
driveway. Finding the truck to be mysterious, she contacts local
police and asks them to investigate. What begins as a routine
follow-up quickly turns into a case of homicide. Police converge
on the Famalaro home only to find that located in the back of the
truck is a freezer. Its contents...a body...later identified as
23-year-old Denise Huber.

Inside the house, detectives find more evidence the home had been
visited by murder. A box marked "X-Mas decorations" contains a
bloody hammer and nail puller. Guns and handcuffs are strewn
about the home. Inside a closet, detectives discover an LA
Sheriff's Patrol Shirt——all signs that Famalaro abducted Denise
by gaining her trust posing as a cop.

Detectives embark on a forensic mission to re-trace the footsteps
of a cold case killer. The first step in this journey is to
determine the manner in which Denise Huber died. Averaging
85-degree temperatures, Maricopa County rarely deals with frozen
bodies. They resort to an old fashion technique. A hairdryer is
used to successfully thaw the frozen corpse, taking special care
not to destroy the fingerprints.

Forensic anthropologist Laura Fulginetti reconstructs Huber's
skull to find that she was bludgeoned to death with both the
hammer and a crowbar found in Famalaro's home. Detectives also use
luminol, a chemical spray that makes body fluids glow, to
determine exactly where the scene of the crime took place.

In 1997, the trial against John Famalaro begins. Famalaro pleads
not guilty...but remains silent in his convictions of innocence.
After deliberating for less than three hours, Famalaro is convicted
of first-degree murder with a death penalty sentence. He
currently sits on death row at San Quentin Prison in California.

Just Another Lazy Sunday...

Like the seals down at Fisherman's Wharf, my plans today include absolutely nothing. If I can get a good sleep and a few fish in my belly, I'll be happy. I love lazy Sundays, and if I can stay clear of my go-go-go fiancee Angelina, and her plans of moving pyramids and rearranging our place like the Winchester Mystery House, it'll be a good day and tonight I'll be able to clap my flippers and bark at the moon!

Wayward Whales Winding Way Homeward?

Two whales that lost their way more than ten days ago are now circling near a Sacramento River bridge about 70 miles from the open waters of the Pacific Ocean.

At first, scientists suggested banging pipes underwater to scare the whales toward the ocean, but that hasn’t seemed to move them. Now experts have come up with a second method that they’re confident will work.

“We’ve decided to really frighten and disgust the whales, so that they’ll leave this river and never came back,” said Hemma Rhoidal, spokesperson for WAPT (Whales Are People Too), an organization that assists whales in trouble, including those with drug, krill or alcohol problems.

“Banging pipes hasn’t worked, so we’re going to try and make some noise that will surely distress these animals,” Rhoidal said. “We’re going to start playing Joy Behar comedy albums, as well as Barry Manilow and Captain and Tenille records. If that doesn’t send them packing, nothing will.”

The organization has a special audio system that will play the records underwater. They’re also considering playing Andrew Dice Clay and Emo Phillips comedy albums, as well as Paula Abdul and Yoko Ono songs.

“If that doesn’t work, we’re going to invest in a video system and start showing them Ashton Kutcher movies. But, that’s a last resort. It’s very risky, because it could also kill the whales -- from boredom. Even whales know crappy acting when they see it.”

Both whales, believed to be a mother and her calf, are wounded, apparently from a run-in with a boat’s propeller.

“The wounds appear to have worsened over time and their skin has changed from smooth and shiny to irregular and pitted,” said Frances Guiland of the Marine Mammal Center.
Fresh water from the Sacramento River could hamper the whales’ recovery, biologists said. Skin samples taken from the mother whale on Monday were sent to out-of-state labs to assess her general health and help identify her population stock.

Some crews in the more than two dozen boats blocking the humpbacks’ path up the river tried herding the mother and her calf downstream by banging metal pipes beneath the water.
The challenge, officials said, was encouraging the pair to return to salt water quickly but without resorting to tactics that could upset the whales.

“Stressing even a healthy whale is not good. Stressing an injured whale is worse,” said Brian Gorman, a spokesman for the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration.

The humpbacks, nicknamed Delta and Dawn, had traveled 90 miles inland more than a week ago before turning around at the Port of Sacramento on Sunday. They were making progress Monday until they reached the Rio Vista Bridge and began swimming in circles.

Scientists theorized the whales began circling because vibrations from traffic upset them. The pair could not be coaxed forward even when the drawbridge was raised to halt the flow of vehicles.

Scientists have been watching the two closely because their route includes sloughs leading to muddy deltas where the whales could become lost and trapped.

The pair also faces a couple more highway bridges between Rio Vista and San Francisco Bay, including the Golden Gate.

Federal officials have authorized researchers to fire darts carrying a satellite tracking device beneath the mother’s fin to monitor her location, but two days of gusty winds and choppy waters have delayed the tagging.