My First Call from a Crazy Cat Lady

Sometimes I get halfway through a conversation and think, wow I should have recorded it. The other day, my phone rang and I didn’t recognize the number, but I picked up anyway.

“Hi, are you the guy drawing peoples’ pets?”

“Yes.”

“I’m trying to post my cats on your Facebook page, but it doesn’t work.”

“Okay, how many cats do you have?”

“Nine.”

“Do you want me to draw all nine of them?”

“I know, it said limited to two pets, but I love them all and…”

Then she talked for five minutes about her cats, their names, the fact that she feeds strays down by the high school every night, etc. etc.

I decided to have a little fun with her.

“You know. It takes me at least 20-30 minutes to draw each pet. I need to look at the photo and, in some cases, I have to meet the cat before I can start.”

“How does that work?”

“If you can herd them together, we can do it on Zoom.”

I was waiting for the laugh, but it didn’t come so I kept going.

“Plus, I will need to do background checks on all of your cats.”

Still no laugh.

“I’m sure your cats are fine, but we need to know because I can’t be associated with convicted felines.”

“I got these cats all as kittens, except for Fuzzy.”

“Then, we will need to check Fuzzy out. Who knows what he’s been up to?”

“He just sleeps most of the time.”

I am trying not to laugh now.

“Send me your four favorite cats and I will draw them.”

“Thanks.”

Click.

I thought about taking my phone number off the Pandemic Pet Project page, but then I thought—this is writer’s gold. The journey continues.
I know there will be a follow-up call, so stay tuned.

The Pandemic Pet Project is still going strong and without no end of this in sight, it may eventually become the Perpetual Pet Project. https://www.facebook.com/pandemicpetproject/?modal=admin_todo_tour

(Illustration courtesy of Dmitry Abramov)