McCovey Cove Has Lost Its Balls!

McCovey Cove used to be one of the really fun things about going to AT&T Park and seeing a San Francisco Giants game. With all the boats and activity, it was like a big pool party. I hadn’t seen that many drunks on the water since my last booze cruise or since the annual houseboat trip I take to Lake Shasta each summer.
It was a raucous crowd in rowboats, kayaks, floating dirigibles, ski boats – I even saw a guy one time floating around in a wash basin. The interplay among the sea faring revelers was one of the most fun aspects of the whole affair, especially when Barry Bonds came to bat.
We met one gentleman last season that made quite a nice little career out of kayaking in McCovey Cove and retrieving Barry’s home run balls. Known to everyone as “Kayak Man,” he was out there every game, day or night, and had captured more than his 15 minutes of fame for getting some of Bonds’ more celebrated homers, including #660. People would notice him on the streets of San Francisco and his chest would puff out. He even made a little side income producing “Kayak Man” t-shirts and bandanas.
But, now all that is dead. Bonds has been blacklisted out of baseball and McCovey Cove is just another body of polluted sea water. As if on cue, even the seagulls are staying clear. The other day, I did see a sea lion in McCovey Cove…taking a dump. Even the sea mammals of the bay know when a place has been relegated to The City’s “B” List.
The state of the Cove is really indicative of how the whole season is going for the Giants. They’ve been losing games in droves and Barry Zito, their big star pitcher, hasn’t won a single game. It’s sad to see how far the team has fallen since Barry left town.
Yes, it’s true—McCovey Cove (and the SF Giants) has lost its balls.