Whitney and Binny? Who Knew?

Bobby Brown’s drug-addled brain has finally short circuited. The R&B one-hit wonder claims that he’s on Osama bin Laden’s hit list. It turns out that the terrorist leader has his eye on Brown’s former wife, singer Whitney Houston.

“Bin Laden wanted to have me killed because he was in love with Whitney,” Brown claims on an upcoming ITV show, “24 Hours With Bobby Brown.” “Osama wanted to marry Whitney and make her one of his wives.”

“I feared for my life,” Brown said. “I’m still on my guard. The most wanted man in the world wants me dead.”

Brown has obviously completely lost it. Why would Bin Laden want all of the problems associated with Whitney, anyway? From what I’ve heard, he has enough problems getting his kids to obey him (They refuse to do their religious studies and drink Coca-Cola against his wishes.)

After researching this subject further, I realize that maybe Brown isn’t crazy. This article appeared on the Web site for the British newspaper, The Daily Mail:

“Terror mastermind Osama bin Laden is so obsessed with singer Whitney Houston he thought about killing her husband, Bobby Brown, it was claimed last night.

The suggestion is made by Sudanese poet and novelist Kola Boof, who claims she was bin Laden's sex slave for four months 10 years ago.

In her autobiography, Diary of a Lost Girl, she writes: "He told me Whitney Houston was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen."

Boof, 37, who claims bin Laden raped her and held her prisoner in a Moroccan hotel, says he could not stop talking about the songbird, even though he disapproved of music.

"Osama kept coming back to Whitney Houston," she says in the book, excerpted in the magazine Harpers' Bazaar. "He asked if I knew her personally when I lived in America. I told him I didn't.
"

He said that he had a paramount desire for Whitney Houston, and although he claimed music was evil he spoke of someday spending vast amounts of money to go to America and try to arrange a meeting with the superstar.

"It didn't seem impossible to me. He said he wanted to give Whitney Houston a mansion that he owned in a suburb of Khartoum.

"He explained to me that to possess Whitney he would be willing to break his colour rule and make her one of his wives.

"Whitney Houston's name was the one that would be mention constantly.
"How beautiful she was, what a nice smile she has, how truly Islamic she is but is just brainwashed by American culture and by her husband Bobby Brown, whom Osama talked about having killed, as if it were normal to have women's husbands killed."

Boof, who once claimed she had to take her son out of a Los Angeles school after rumours surfaced that bin Laden was his father, also claims the Al Qaeda mastermind read more than the Koran.

"In his briefcase I would come across photographs of the Star magazine, as well as copies of Playboy," she writes.

She also says his favourite television shows were The Wonder Years, Miami Vice and MacGyver (Undoubtedly where Binny learned his bomb-making skills.)”