Friday, March 02, 2007

Say Hello to Momma

Lyrics by Ed Attanasio
Music by Mickey Joseph

Say hello to Momma.
But please keep it brief.
The woman’s got a penchant for sharing all her grief.

Say hello to Momma.
Then get out of that room.
It’s been all gloom and doom with Mom since the day I left her womb.


She’ll mess up your brain.
All she is does is complain.
About her incessant pain.
But the pain she’s deliverin’
Is to all her children.
Because the woman’s driving us insane.

Her tales of pain and woe.
Will make you want to croak.
You’ll wish you were dead, that’s right.

So, say hello to Momma.
Greet her when you meet her.
And then get the hell out of her sight.

So, say hello and then get out.
Unless you want to hear about her gout.

Say hey and get out of the way.
Before she starts talking tooth decay.

She’s got bursitis in both shoulders, big blisters on her feet.
Diseases and maladies too numerous to repeat.

She sends me real sad e-mails about her ingrown toenails.
Tells all the neighbors I was the most difficult of labors.

Her varicose veins throb when it rains.
And her bunions smell like onions late at night.

1 comment:

Myra manchenski said...

How could you say such a thing about such a lovely woman? Shame, shame! Shame on you!