Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Ugly Mutts Club

The 3 finalists for the ugliest dog contest were announced yesterday. There were 11 nominees (all of them pictured above) but only the three most truly repulsive mutts made the final cut! And heeeeeeeeeeeere they are! The one in the top row, far left, is Ouch. He is a really hideous runt with a degree in interior design from Canine U. His interests are long baths, sunbathing and humping buckets. His turnoffs are dogs that scoot on carpets or bark at the wind. The one in the center of the middle row -- the one that has the bouffant hairdo going on -- is Damn!. Her owner says that people will see the pooch sometimes in public and blow chunks. Damn! has a laid-back attitude and likes chasing shadows, scaring cats and making folks vomit. Her turnoffs are crosssing guards and the big sweaty blind neighbor lady who always wants to pick her up. Our third contestant is pictured in the third row, far right, and his name is What Happened?. What Happened? is a rescue dog that works with the Coast Guard chasing drug traffickers throughout the SF bay. He loves to eat fish heads, sniff coke and scratch his hey-nanny-nanny. His turnoffs include velcroix, miracle whip and Steven Segal movies. Pick your favorite and make your ugly comments below.
The Grand Prize is a complete mutt makeover, courtesy of the fab 5 from "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy."

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