Monday, July 31, 2006
"Benchwarmers": Don't Waste Your Time Even Reading This Review!
In 500 years, whomever is still around will see this film and they'll fully understand why our civilization is no longer on the planet. "Benchwarmers" is one of the most inane movies I have probably ever seen. If every single copy of this debacle is destroyed it would be a favor to mankind. I could spend some time telling you what it's about, but I've already wasted almost 2 hours of my life watching it and frankly I'm numb. This mini-review is my way of saying thanks for reading my blog. Hopefully I can spare you the pain of sitting through this fiasco. I can usually stomach movies like this if they have a few good scenes in them, but this piece of human excrement isn't even worth talking about. Rob Schneider is a funny actor. I actually did standup comedy with him back in the late 1980's. He's done some funny stuff and he was great on SNL. David Spade is also fun to watch. Jon Heder was excellent in "Napoleon Dynamite", but the poor kid will always be typecast as a dumb misfit after that film, which is a shame. Put them together with a halfway decent storyline about little league baseball and unfulfilled dreams and you could have had a decent film. "Benchwarmers" doesn't even come close. It's a rancid stew of titty twisters, boogers, farts, and spit jokes, complete with racist humor and heartless gags about midgets and nerds. Adam Sandler produced this one and although I've enjoyed a couple of his movies in the past ("Happy Gilmore", "The Waterboy", and "Anger Management")the fact that this thing was ever made in the first place shows the general state of Hollywood today. Some people have referred to Sandler as a modern-day Jerry Lewis, which is like saying Nicole Ritchie is a modern-day Katherine Hepburn. Movie producers don't give a damn about quality anymore, they only care about making money. And if this thing makes a penny (which it already obviously has, because I rented the DVD for around three bucks!) it just shows that people are willing to tolerate drivel like this, which is sad. I feel like a total idiot for watching "Benchwarmers" -- please heed this warning and don't make the same mistake!
To find out what piece of garbage Adam Sandler will be serving up to the American public next, visit his own personal web site at: www.adamsandler.com.