Don't Ever Get Lost Again

I am going to be switching vehicles soon, and I am seriously considering the purchase of a Garmin GPS. I have been using a built-in GPS for the past three plus years now, and I am stuck on the technology. I used to get lost all the time, but a GPS has spoiled me. I never get lost now and it's really a godsend. I recently looked at a bunch of different GPS systems, and Garmin makes the best. When you're looking for the very best, why not forget the rest? Get a Garmin today!

Bring on the Vegas Good Times, Baby!

I am going to Vegas to see the man himself--that's right--you guessed it--DON RICKLES! Rickles has always been one of my favorite comics ever. One of my very first performances was an improv thing I did during some hazing activities that I had to go through as a Pledge at Theta Chi, the Animal House-like fraternity I joined in 1978 while attending San Jose State. We had to play a character, so I did Rickles and improvised big-time, just off the top of my head. It was a big hit and made me realize that I could probably one day make a living as a standup comic, which never really happened, but it's a nice story, isn't it? Anyway I am going to Vegas, baby--and taking advantage of some great deals on Las Vegas hotels

I Want to Travel!

I want to be the purist tourist. As my travels are about to unravel as I put down the gavel and judge for myself the best travel deals out there on the market today, all I can say is that maybe I will go to Chile or possibly Philly, or to Rome...or I'll hit the unknown. I could go to Spain, but then it might rain. Or I could visit Europe and be the ultimate tourist. Whatever I do, both me and my honey, we're going to get a travel deal and save us some money. Italy? Antarctica? Norway? Taipei? Where will we go? We don't even know!! (stay tuned)

Barry Bonds to the Dodgers? It's Not that Crazy!

Now that Manny Ramirez has screwed up in one of the worst ways imaginable--getting caught taking a substance banned by baseball--maybe the Dodgers should think about hiring their old nemesis and sticking him in left field. Juan Pierre is not a bad player and I'm not going to bash him here, but the team lacks power and Barry Bonds still has enough left in the tank (and in the syringe?) to provide some.
Actually, although I am very disappointed with Manny's Mishap, I have long said that MLB should just let players take whatever they want to enhance their performance. If an athlete is willing to risk his health, why not let him? Operatic singers looking to hit those high notes used to clip their you-know-what's many years ago, and Roman gladiators would do all kinds of strange things to their bodies to be stronger and faster, so why shouldn't baseball players do the same?
Let them take whatever they want. That way no one can cheat. Of course, it will change the game as we know it. Big, bulky hitters will be smacking 550-ft. HR blasts on a daily basis, and pitchers will be throwing fastballs at 120 mph, but who cares? It will be fun to watch, and those teams with the better pharmacists will be the most successful.
But, back to the subject of the Dodgers signing Barry Bonds. Just think of all the buzz it would create. It would piss off both Giants and Dodgers fans. Barry would embrace Hollywood and vice versa. It would be a great "forgive and forget" moment, a feel-good scenario unlike anything we've ever seen. And in the end, if Bonds can mean a few additional victories for the Big Blue, why not at least give it a try?
Think about it, Ned Colletti. I believe that L.A. is ready for Barrywood. At least until July 3rd, when Mannywood returns to the fold.

If Manny Had Just Stuck to Diet Pills...

When I heard the tragic news about Manny Ramirez testing positive for a banned substance, I was shocked and dismayed, to say the least. So many questions crossed my mind. Like, why did he take it? Could he really be that stupid to believe that he wouldn't get caught? That's why I NEVER take anything, if I don't know PRECISELY what it is. The only thing I EVER take is one of several top rated diet pills. If they don't completely check out after close analysis, then guess what? I DON'T PUT THEM IN MY SYSTEM! It's just that simple. Learn everything you can about something before you take it. It's common sense!

Facebook Foibles

I'm new to Facebook, so I don't understand all of the little nuances, but I can already see that the whole Facebook experience is going to present some problems for me.
For instance, I am friends with a lot of people on Facebook who I really don't even know. Sometimes they put something interesting up there, and I am compelled to comment. But, when I do, I'm sure they're saying, "Who the hell is this person?" "I'm a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend....." is how I want to reply, sounding even dumber and making the situation even more ludicrous.
Then, I have all these people asking me to be their friends, yet I don't know them. I see their friend request, and I let it sit a few days, and then I feel guilty and say "Okay. I'll be your friend." But, I know nothing about them and usually just end up looking at their baby pictures or photos of their kids spewing food or their grandma making what looks like either a jello mold or moonshine. What's the point?
And then all my friends invite me to do all of these stupid, time-wasting things on Facebook, like take an IQ test, or play Internet poker, or hunt for ducks (what is that all about?). I have no desire to do any of these things! Don't these people work? I hope they don't think I'm being rude by not responding. I don't dare hit the "Ignore" tab, because if there's anything worse than saying no, it's ignoring someone. People hate that. It's like not returning a phone call, essentially.
Then, sometimesI get curious about one of my so-called new Facebook "friends" and start looking for their stuff. Pretty soon, I know a lot about this individual, yet they know nothing about me. Recently, I was at a party when such a person entered the room. I casually walked up to her and told her that I was on her Facebook and then began outlining all of the things we had in common, obviously information I had gleaned via Facebook.
"I went to San Jose State just like you, I have a dog and I used to be a standup comic...etc...etc." To say she freaked out is an understatement. She could not get away from me fast enough! "I'm just trying to be nice," I said to myself. It wasn't like I was hitting on her...or was it?
Then I realized--Oh my God--she probably thinks I'm a Facebook Stalker!
Then there's the re-finding of old friends on Facebook. I have found that aspect of the site to be very overrated. A few friends have tracked me down, and at first I was kind of excited. Until I talked to them and realized that time changes everything. They were stranger; different from before and eventually the communication tapered off and disappeared altogether. Whoever said that you can never go back was right!
Facebook can be fun. But, it can also be very confusing. Once I learn the ground rules, I can see that it might have some value to me. But, right now, I'm just a Facebook newbie; an adolescent to the site, you might say. I'm going through that acne, braces, puberty stage in the world of Facebook, but soon I will be a pro at it. In the meantime, however, the whole thing can be rather awkward at times.

Diet Pills: Choosing Can Be Confusing..

Gandhi never had to worry about such a thing as a diet pill. He never had a weight problem, so it just never came into the equation. But, if you're not perpetually skinny, like Gandhi, you may just require the help of a good, healthy diet pill that will not adversely react to your system and that will help you lose the weight you want to shed. Gandhi was a great man. He helped make the world a more peaceful and compassionate place to live. He didn't need diet pills. But, maybe you do.

Poor Mona Lisa!

Paris, France--It was revealed today by art experts that the Mona Lisa actually had a very severe skin problem. Unknown until recently, art analysts cleaned the painting for the first time, revealing a series of zits all over Mona Lis'a face and forehead. Art expert TJ Denarz announced the incredible finding. "After cleaning this painting with a special non-invasive solvent, we were able to surmise that Mona Lisa has acne," he said. "This is a very significant discovery that is a real shock to the art world. Fortunately, acne technology has progressed in the last 100 years, so if Mona had been around now, they could have easily alleviated the condition. Today, we have sophisticated methods like microdermabrasion, that prevents this type of condition from developing."

Fat Burners Work!

There are a lot of opinions out there in the blogsphere about whether fat burners work or not. Well folks--I am here to tell you that indeed they do! If you're looking to burn fat with a safe, reliable fat burners, you need to know all the facts. It's important that you do ALL your homework before choosing the fat burner that's right for you. Don't get stuck with an inferior product. That's NEVER a smart move. If the Fat Boys (pictured above) had known about the best fat burners out there (or if the fat burning technology was what it is today back when they were eating and rapping up a storm) these unfortunate chubsters wouldn't be obese now. Plus, they would have been able to enjoy more of that pizza!

It's Alive!

We went to Alive! the other day and to say that I was reticent is putting it mildly. I must admit, I am not exactly what you’d call a disciple of this raw food movement. I am still very comfortable and quite used to food that has been cooked. I will take a boiled carrot (al dente, of course—I gotta have that crunch) over a raw one every time. I like sushi and steak tartare, but I’ll opt for the cooked versions over the raw ones every time.
But, when we visited Alive! recently, we were more than pleasantly surprised. Described on their menu as a “serene and sophisticated dining destination for raw, vegetarian, animal-free cuisine using only the freshest local, seasonal, and organic produce,” we were anticipating a bunch of rah-rah tree-hugging environmentalists preaching “save the planet” while serving us this barely edible, extremely bland fare. Not so. Everything we sampled at Alive! was delicious, packed with flavors and featured organic produce and ingredients that are local, seasonal and regional.
The restaurant’s modern Zen dining room and hidden urban garden made us feel supremely comfortable almost instantly. The knowledgeable and very professional wait staff at Alive! are true followers of the raw food movement, but they aren’t pushy about it—they know their stuff and can answer any and all of your inquiries about the food; but only if you ask, which is nice. Sometimes I like to be educated about what I’m consuming, and other times I just want to be left alone to eat it without a narrative.
First we tried some of well-known specialties at Alive! These are the dishes that Chef Leland Jung is most known for, so we were anxious to sample them. I always like to experience a place’s signature dishes, so we had the open-face avocado peppercress sandwich (amazing!); their sun dried tomato shiitake mushroom torte (man-o-man!); the signature sweet sesame ginger zucchini ribbons with seasonal vegetables and walnuts; (oh, the flavors!); and then capped it off with an amazing candy cap mushroom cheesecake (I know, it sounds weird, but it is so incredible, you HAVE to try it!).
Prices are fairly reasonable at Alive! with soups and starters running, $10–$12, and entrees going for $12–$20. I’ve paid a lot more for food that wasn’t even half as good as what you’ll encounter at Alive!
They also have an extensive, very smart wine list at Alive! The restaurant has Chris Tavelli, Yield Wine Bar, San Francisco as their wine consultant, and he’s one of the best in the Bay Area, so you can be certain that the list is extensive, deep and top-tier in every way.
The most amazing thing is that EVERYTHING we ate was 100% raw. The freshness of the ingredients coupled with the astute flavor combinations made for a very memorable meal. Now I can see why Alive! has gotten so many positive reviews and has been called a “leader of the Raw Food movement” in the Bay Area and beyond. We’ll be back here again and again, because not only is the food very healthy…but it’s also very, very good.
Alive!
1972 Lombard Street
San Francisco, CA 94109
(415) 923-1052