Buzz Building Over New Green Hornet Car

With the new Green Hornet movie in pre-production (release date 2010; screenplay by Seth Rogan and Evan Goldberg) everyone is starting to talk about the car that will be featured in the film. Rumors are flying around about who will design it, who will build it and what it will look like.
If you’re over 45 years old (like me) you probably remember the Green Hornet TV series, which unfortunately only lasted one season (1966-67) and starred Van Williams as the Green Hornet and the legendary Bruce Lee as his sidekick Kato. The Green Hornet radio show debuted in 1936 and in 1940 the stinging superhero hit the comic book stands for the first time.
The Green Hornet’s vehicle was called the Black Beauty. The Green Hornet (newspaper owner Britt Reid by day) kept the car hidden under his garage floor, suspended upside down with steel clamps. With one push of a button, the floor would flip, positioning the car right side up and ready for action. After he and Kato jumped in, The Green Hornet always said his famous catch phrase, “Let’s Roll, Kato!”
The Black Beauty was a Chrysler Crown Imperial with an amazing arsenal, including rocket launchers; smoke guns; an oil gun in the rear; headlights that change from standard lights to special infrared green lights; a mortar; a flying deployable scanner containing a closed circuit TV monitor; a license plate that flips; a tack sweeper to remove sharp objects before they puncture the tires; and a broom to cover the vehicle’s tracks. The car was built and designed by Dean Jeffries, who also designed the Mantaray, which was featured in the film Bikini Beach Party. Both the Black Beauty and the Manta Ray are currently on display at the Peterson Automotive Museum in Los Angeles.
It is anticipated that the 2010 Black Beauty will have many new high-tech, state-of-the-art features. But, right now, no one is talking. I’ve heard rumors that several car companies, including Mitsubishi, are working on possible designs to pitch to the film’s producers. We’ll keep you in the loop and give you all of the new buzz as it comes in.

If They Had Only Had Good Diet Pills Back Then...

If they had the diet pill technology 15 years ago that they have now, a lot of people may not have been quite so fat. That's because nowadays, they make diet pills that work without bad side effects or adverse results. If people like Jabba the Hut and those fat mini bike riding twins (pictured) had only known about these breakthrough new diet pills, maybe they wouldn't have had the weight problems they had back then and would still be alive today. You never know. One thing is for sure -- these new diet pills are safer, better and certainly more effective.

Promo Items are Recession-Proof

When the economy gets rocky like it is right now, you need to come up with new, smart, innovative ways to market your business. That's where promotional items enter the picture. Promo items can pay for themselves quickly, because they get your name out there and act as brand ambassadors for your products or services. Pens, hats, mugs--they've all been done a lot, mainly because they're highly effective and will give you a top return on your investment. But, there are also a lot of other promotional items that are unusual that you can use to promote your company. Take a long look at promo items right now. You'll be happy you did!

The Rat Pack is Back!

I was having a great dream the other night. I was staying at the Sands, an old-school classic Vegas hotel. I was kicking back in the High Rollers Suite when there was a knock at the door.

"Who is it?" I asked.

"Two Italians, one bad comic, a Limey and a one-eyed hoofer," the voice on the other side of the door said. I knew instantly that it was Frank Sinatra. His phrasing was perfect.

Suddenly, the Rat Pack was in the room. They were rough housing and obviously drunk.

"You up for a wild night?" Frank asked.

"Well, uh, what did you fellas have in mind?" I replied.

"Booze, broads and hoprfully breakfast. You know, the usual," Dean offered.

"Yeah, cat--let's groove and let the cards fall where they may," Sammy chimed in.

"Well, how do I know you're real? This is a dream, after all." I was skeptical for obvious reasons.

"Will this help convince you?" Frankie asked as he handed me a Jack Daniels Manhattan, his favorite cocktail when he wasn't downing it straight.

I took a sip from the glass and it tasted good. What the heck, I thought. I've always wondered what it might be like to party with the Rat Pack.

"Let's roll, Daddy-O," Dino pleaded. "I've got a blonde waiting for me down at the craps table."

They exited the room and were gone as quickly as they had appeared. Oh well, I thought--They probably would have out-partied me anyway.

Don't Gnocch It 'Til You've Tried It: Firenze By Night

The North Beach section of San Francisco has some of the most famous Italian restaurants in the country. Words like “authentic”, “old school” and “home style” come to mind when you talk about North Beach Italian cuisine. Just walking through North Beach is a wonderful experience—it’s like NY/SF meets Italy. With Italian bakeries, delis, pizzerias and trattorias on every block, the sights, smells and sounds of this quaint little neighborhood are a delight for all the senses.

The other night, we visited North Beach to dine at Firenze by Night, one of the most renowned Italian eateries in all of San Francisco. Known for their award-winning gnocchi, Firenze by Night makes you feel at ease the minute you walk in.

The layout of the restaurant consists of two small rooms—one features a bar seating roughly eight people and the other is a modest dining room. The décor is home style Italian; all of the servers are from the Big Boot; and the dishes fly out of the tiny kitchen fresh and fast.
Since this was our first visit to Firenze by Night, we decided that we just had to sample their famous gnocchi. For those who don’t know, gnocchi is basically a small potato dumpling. It has the texture and flavor of a piece of very al dente pasta. One of the best things about a good gnocchi is that it absorbs any sauce accompanying it.

The gnocchi at Firenze by Night has won first place in the “Best of North Beach” contest for two consecutive years. The legendary San Francisco Chronicle columnist Herb Caen described it as “So Italian, you need a passport.” It’s perfectly formed by hand, skillfully prepared with a wide range of amazing tomato and cream sauces, and simply served. Its true beauty is in its simplicity. In a culinary world where chefs are always showing off their cooking “skills” by serving complex dishes containing 50 ingredients, the gnocchi at Firenze by Night features a no-nonsense approach. Why mess with the ingredients when the flavors do a stellar job all by themselves?

So, we had the Gnocchi Firenze, their signature dish, and we weren’t disappointed to say the least. Described as “potato dumplings in a light tomato sauce”, this is the best gnocchi I’ve ever had. The sauce complemented the gnocchi and didn’t over power it. The gnocchi itself had the perfect texture and topped with parmesan cheese, it was comforting and satisfying.

We also had the Paperdelle Toscana (large noodles in rabbit sauce); Cappellini Pomodoro e Basilico (angel hair in tomato basil sauce); and Gamberoni Pesacatore (jumbo prawns with calamari in a white wine sauce). Other dishes we saw coming out of the busy kitchen included Firenze’s Maiale alla Maremmama (pork scaloppini with garlic, sun-dried tomatoes and a white wine sauce); and Quaglie al Barolo (quail in a Barolo wine sauce).

To kick off meal with a bang, we had two amazing appetizers—a Carpaccio (paper-thin slices of raw fillet of beef) and the Antipasti Della Casa (consisting of all kinds of cold cuts, cheeses, pickled vegetables, homemade buffalo mozzarella and more).

Firenze by Night, 1429 Stockton Street, San Francisco, CA 94133 (415) 392-8585 (Open M-F for dinner only)

Glad to See You Again!

Every once in awhile a guy by the name of Gladiator Joe enters my dreams. He's from the days of the Romans and he's a really good, yet highly misunderstood person. We talk about his concerns, my dreams, his beliefs and my life and it's always a very educational experience for both of us.

He tells me what it was like to be a gladiator back in his time and I relate to him how it is to live in 2008. I try to answer his questions about cars (I call them "motorized chariots") TV ("a box that glows and shows pictures") and the Internet ("a smaller box full of fairly useless information") and he gives me his opinions about fighting lions, chasing wenches, drinking wine and killing Christians. It's always a very wide ranging and highly entertaining conversation every time he does a cameo in my dreams.

Last night he showed up while I was playing tennis with Arthur Ashe. We took a break so I could talk to him.

"Hey, Joe, what do you know?"

"I'm fine, Edmund. How are you today?"

"Thanks for showing up when you did, Joe. Ashe was kicking my butt."

"What is this game you're playing?" Joe inquired.

"It's called tennis."

"Does the loser die in this contest of skill?"

"Uh, no--it's not that kind of game."

"Oh."

"What's wrong, Joe? I see you're limping. Did you try to mix it up with another Gaul again?"

"No, I hurt my foot running from a tiger in the pit."

"That'll do it every time."

"Do you know anything about foot pain, Citizen Edmund?" Joe was always looking for modern-day medical advice.

"Where's it hurt?"

Joe pointed to the bottom of his right foot.

"That might be waht they call Plantar Fasciitis," I offered.

"Plantar what?"

"It's a very painful foot condition in the heel and arch area. I had it once. Let me do a little research on the condition and I'll let you know what I've learned the next time you appear in one of my dreams."

"Thank you Edmund--I'm always able to rely on your expansive knowledge, You would have surely been a great and respected ruler if you had lived in my time."

"No doubt, Joe. And one more thing--please call me Ed. Only my parents call me Edmund."

And with that, Gladiator Joe exited from my dream as quickly as he had appeared.

Punking People on Craigs List

I am so tired of some of the Help Wanted ads I find on Craigs list every day. What really gets my goat is when I see these postings where companies require a wide range of very specific qualifications, all the way from whether or not a person has a sense of humor, how many kids they have or what kind of car they drive.

These are employers that want to get deep into your life. They might as well move in next door .Yet, in most cases, they’re offering below-market wages for all these qualifications they require. Then, after they hire you, they’ll undoubtedly work you like a dog and make your life miserable.

And it’s been getting worse lately because we’re in a recession and employers can make candidates jump through more hoops than ever before. They’re so many unemployed people out there and competition for jobs is so fierce that they can get away with it and it makes me ill.

Today I saw a posting for an entry-level sales position, in which a search firm was asking for ridiculous qualifications. Somewhere in the ad they said that they were looking for a person who was in a fraternity or sorority and played intramural sports. What on earth does that have to do with being a good entry-level salesman? So, I decided to punk them a little bit. I sent the company this e-mail as a reply to their posting. They want a frat boy? Well, I gave them one:

I read your posting and feel as though I fit all the very specific criteria you've so skillfully outlined.
Some things about me you should know and embrace:
-I was the starting QB on my school's intramural frat football squad. We won it all 6 years straight!
-I was a stud with all the sorority babes--Alpha Phi, Delta Gamma, even some of the less-ugly Chi-O's--I hit it all and often.
-I earned a 3.75 GPA over a 13-semester period.
-I worked my way through college as one of the best bookies on campus.
-I had sex with three of my hotter professors. (and got A's in all 3 classes!)
-I didn't do any drugs, although I must admit I did my share of drinking. (4-times 200 Club)
-I was only arrested once and the charges were eventually reduced.
-I was Homecoming King in 2002. Won the IFC pancake eating contest in 2002-03 and appeared in the background of a Girls Gone Wild video in Cabo in 2004 during Spring Break!

As you can see, I'm a winner and a top-tier individual who is driven and focused on the prize. I think I'm an ideal match for this job. Maybe we can get together for a couple beers after Turkey Day and discuss the position? There used to be a kicking strip club down there called the Brass Rail--maybe we can meet there.
I am already in serious discussions with several Fortune 500 companies, so you better act fast!

I’ve decided to do a book called “Punking People on Craigs list.” Keep an eye out for it in coming months!

Skinny (But Healthy) is Baaaaaaaack!

Back in the '60s, it was very popular to be thin. Twiggy (pictured) was one of the top fashion models in the entire world, because she was beautiful and skinny, without being too much so. Now, in 2008 (soon to be '09) being skinny (but not unhealthy) is once again cool. That's why you should consider Anoretix--it's an amazing new diet solution that will take you to Planet Thin. It's a proven powerful fat burner/metabolic booster that contains 9 patented weight loss ingredients. Get there and be aware (show you care) abotu getting thin and healthy. Take a look at Anoretix today!!

Think about Wilmington, Californians!

Even though the economy is going through a tough time now, prices in California are still sky high. Sure, home prices are plummeting, but everything else you need to survive--like food, gas, services and more--are through the roof! That's why it's a good time for California residents to start thinking about Wilmington NC real estate. Wilmington, North Carolina is a beautiful place to live, with awesome golf courses, wonderful conutryside and real Southern charm. The people who love there are really nice too--not rude and extremely self-absorbed like most of the folks in San Francisco. Consider Wilmington; do a little research about the area and you'll be happy you did!

I Love Alli!

I was talking to my neighbor Kevin. He's one of those people who embraces life but hasn't a clue. He's like a big dog who jumps up on you enthusiastically, but can also pee on the carpet if given the opportunity (and a few beers). We like to discuss trivial things like sports and entertainment. We stay away from politics and religion, because he's a Rush Limbaugh fan and I lean more toward not caring one way or the other, which annoys him to no end.

I was trying to explain to him how happy I was with my new diet pill called alli.

"Man, I love alli," I said.

"You mean, Muhammad Ali? The greatest boxer ever? The man who flew like a butterfly and stung like a bee? That Ali?"

"Uh, no, Kevin...I..."

"Oh, then you must mean his daughter, Laila Ali. Man, that girl is a great fighter, just like her old man, she..."

"Uh, no, not Laila either, Kevin. I'm talking about..."

He interrupted me for the third time. How dare he interrupt me when I'm interrupting him.

"Oh, then you must be referring to Ali McGraw. Wasn't it sad when her character died in Love Story? I saw that movie when I was a kid and I cried..."

"Not her, either," I said, tiring of this guessing game from hell.

"I'm talking about alli, with 2 l's. It's a great diet pill that I've been taking and I love it. No jitters. No side effects. And the weight is coming off like gangbusters."

"Oh," Kevin said sullenly.

We both went back into our respective houses, no wiser and a little more confused.