Leaping for Leptovox

I know I talk a lot about diet pills and I have gotten some e-mails asking me why. Well, they are several reasons. For one, I have had success with them. For another, I believe in them. And I only talk about those I have tried or received good reviews about from my network of dieting friends. One of these that I have recently encountered is called Leptovox. It is very similar in many ways to another one I just reviewed last week called Lipovox. From what I have been able to surmise, Leptovox is a little more high-end and targeted with its ingredients. I have heard that it's highly effective and very low-risk. As I have always said--do not take my word for it without checking with your doctor. Taking any of these pills or supplements without consulting your physician is just plain dumb!

Oprah Saves Me!

"Do I look fat?"

Guys, here's some advice that you can take to the bank. When a woman asks you that question, run as fast as you can.

"What?"

"Am I fat? Do you think I'm overwight?" Judee knew I had heard her and was quickly becoming annoyed.

"As compared to what?" I was dodging her like Barry Sanders.

"As compared to uh....an average, normal person."

"Well, that's hard to say...On the moon you'd weigh considerably less And on Venus, you'd...."

"Listen you $#%%@! answer the question or I am going to kick you right in the..."

I knew I had to come up with something fast.

"Hey, have you heard of Lipovox?"

"Lipo-what?"

I could see I had her attention.

"Yeah, it's one of those healthy dietpills. A college student invented it and it's all natural."

"So, it's healthy?"

"Pretty much. This college student was watching the Oprah Winfrey Show one day when dermatologist Dr. Perricone was on there talking about a diet he had created that helps people get rid of wrinkles. Perricone wrote a book called, "How to Look 10 Years Younger in 10 Days" that identified 10 "Superfoods." She ate all 10 foods, and although it didn't get rid of her wrinkles, she did lose 11 lbs. in 10 days. It was too hard for he r to eat all 10 foods all the time, so she took them and concentrated them into a pill, which is called Lipovox."

Judee smiled, nodded and waddled for the door.

(Moral: It pays to watch Oprah once in a while.)

Dr. Phil: Here's One Marriage Even He Can't Save!

The blogosphere is buzzing that Dr. Phil McGraw is splitting up with his wife Robin. It’s been a hot topic for several weeks now and it seems like another one of those stories that people are starting to believe.
Is it true? Well, at first I did not think so, but as they say – where there’s smoke there’s fire. And this story is smokin’! I think it would be comical, ironic and fitting for the man who saves marriages to watch his own disintegrate. I always thought the couple looked plastic together on TV—you know, forced smiles with gritted teeth.
I would not be surprised if Dr, Phil got caught getting a little something-something on the side. Sure, he’s no looker. But, women love power, and whether you like him or not, Dr. Phil has a very powerful and confident demeanor. Chicks dig that.
Regardless, the news (if true and I am not saying it is) will not help the Doctor. In the San Francisco Bay Area, they recently moved his show from prime time to a late afternoon slot. Coincidence? Maybe. Maybe not.
Here is the latest news on the alleged break-up, courtesy of Globemagazine.com:
"TV shrink Dr. Phil makes a living dishing out advice to others - but now, he may be in need of some himself to save his own marriage - as insiders reveal he's flying into jealous rages over his wife Robin. GLOBE's sources bare the shocking details of Dr. Phil's marriage crisis."
About.com's Dr. Phil and Robin McGraw Divorce Rumors report fueled the speculation:
"Could the self help guru need a little romantic assistance of his own? Following recent whispers that Dr. Phil and Robin's marriage could be in trouble, Access Hollywood did a little investigating into the matter.
When they checked in with Oprah Winfrey's BFF for a response to the gossip, they were given the standard "no comment" and sent on their way. Interestingly enough, this week's episodes revolve mostly around marital issues. Maybe Dr. Phil should start taking his own advice for once. "

The New Academy of Arts & Sciences

The new Academy of Arts & Sciences in SF will be opening at the end of the month. I got a special media/blogger's tour of the place and it's incredible. Here is what the place will look like. More to follow.

Scam Alert: HollywoodProfiles.com is a Rip Off!

I saw a listing for a site called http://www.hollywoodprofiles.com/ that claimed they could help get me parts in films as an extra. I have been an extra in a couple movies in the past, including The Incredible Hulk (the first one) and Mad City (with John Travolta and Dustin Hoffman) and both times it was a lot of fun.
Being on a movie set is a blast, the food is excellent and if you're lucky, you might not even get cut out of the film. I got to hang out with some of the actors and for just a moment, I was treated like a star. So, when I saw this thing for http://www.hollywoodprofiles.com/, I was intrigued.
For just $1.98, they said they'd list me on their Web site and that if a movie was being filmed in the Bay Area, I would have a very good chance of being called by the casting people involved.
Now that I look back at it, I have to say shame on me. What did I expect for $1.98 anyway? A starring role doing sex scenes with Angelina, Julia and/or Jennifer? A co-starring spot in a buddy film with Brad, George or Ben, in say, Oceans 20? I wish.
But, one thing I didn't expect was getting ripped off. Buyer beware! http://www.hollywoodprofiles.com/ is a scam! After you sign up for the $1.98, they will charge you an additional $49.95 on your credit card 14 days later. Then, when you call them and attempt to have the charge removed, they say "no problem."
But, these people aren't dumb. They have become very adept at ripping people off. They know that they don't have to remove the charge until it's 30 days old. So, they stall, hoping that you'll forget about it and go away.
That's why the citizen newspapaper that I write for, BrooWaha, is such a great forum. We can use it to call out scam artists like the ones at http://www.hollywoodprofiles.com/. We can use it to right the wrongs of the world and expose the many a-holes residing on this planet -- like real estate agents who berate potential buyers or punks who taunt tigers at the zoo.
So, you've been warned. This company has received a ton of complaints and has been investigated on many occasions. Hopefully, the only profile they will see in the very near future is their own mug shot, as they go off to jail to play the role of a lifetime -- as a punk in a prison scene from my newest favorite film, "Hollywood Profiles From Tier 7."

Petwave.com: A Great New Site for Dog & Cat Owners

If you're a dog and cat lover like me, you're aware that from time-to-time your pets will unfortunately run into medical problems. (Like when Shelly took Ratdog's ear off!) It's just part of owning a pet.

Whether you have to take them to the vet or not is something you will need to determine on a case-by-case basis, but in the meantime you can find out what's wrong with your little friends by consulting a great new Web site called http://www.petwave.com/.

I just met the two young guys who created the site and I love it! Petwave.com has everything you'll ever need to know about what may be ailing your pet, from digestive, bone, joint & muscle, eye, skin and/or ear problems. It's very thorough and comprehensive with tons of valuable information.

By checking out petwave.com, you can get peace of mind and possibly even save money by being able to alleviate the problem yourself. Let's face it, vets are great, but they can be very expensive.

One of the best things about http://www.petwave.com/ is that you can tell it was set up by pet lovers. It's so full of awesome and entertaining content (I especially like their "Breed of the Day" dog feature and articles like "Learning How to Care for Senior Cats.") that once you get on the site, you won't be able to stop reading and clicking! Check it out today and you (as well as your canine and feline housemates) will be happy you did!

I Go For the Gold & Come Up Cold!

The phone rang and something told me not to pick it up.

But, I always do. And it's usually bad.

"Hello, Thundermaker?"

"Yes?"

(A few years back, just for kicks and giggles, I told the people at work that my Najavo name is "Thundermaker." I told them I wanted to be referred to by everyone in the office from thereon as "Thundermaker." They didn't object for a second or even bother to ask any questions. Within 24 hours, there was a company-wide memo and everyone was calling me "Thundermaker.")

"This is Bunny Hope in Accounting."

"Hi, Bunny."

"Hi, Th-th-undermaker," she was having trouble saying the name without laughing. "I am calling about a certain piece of office furniture that you ordered for your cubicle."

"Yes?"

"Well, it's a $40,000 piece of furniture (see photo) with gilded doors. Don't you think that's a little expensive for a writer's office?" Her voice was borderline snarky.

"Hey, it's imaged perceived, mission achieved. You know what I am saying?"

'Uh, not really," Bunny said, obviously not feeling me.

"If you want to play with the big boys, ya gotta pay the freight."

"What?"

"Don't do the crime if you can't do the time?" I was starting to sound desperate.

"Listen, Thunderboy, if you want to order office furniture that is more suitable for someone at your level within this company, something nice and reasonably priced, take a look at www.ofconcepts.com. In the meantime, your gold cabinets are going back. Maybe Larry Ellison might like them."

"But, Bunny..."

click.

(I hate accountants)

A Friend with Bad Skin. It's the Zits!

Bill gave me that bewildered look -- the one he displayed whenever he was cluelessly lost in his own pygmy-sized brain.

"Why don't chicks dig me?" he asked.

"No one calls them 'chicks' anymore, Bill for one thing,"

I'm always trying to help people, it's my nature.

"Well, why don't women like me?"

Bill was always slow on the take.

"I got one word for you, Bill. Well, actually it's a series of words strung together. It's www.getacnetreatments.com. Your face looks like the moon, Bill. Which I guess is better than Uranus, but not by much. They have treatments for acne that can really help you battle that road rash, Bill."

"Uh, thanks, dood...I."

"Dood is a dead word as well, Bill. But, don't worry, getting rid of that cheese grater face will make you feel better about yourself."

"Will I get babes?"

"No one says 'babe' anymore, either Bill. In fact, women hate it. But, to answer your question -- probably not. Even if you get perfect skin, you'll still be annoyning as hell. And that breath. And the fact that you live with your mom, have horrendous body odor and work as a security guard at a Burger King--that stuff will work against you Bill, I have to be honest."

"Oh," Bill said.

I had a feeling this tough love session was over.

Halloween: The Right Costume Can Make It or Break It!

If Lassie were only around to see this bunch...

If you're looking for a fun Halloween costume for this year, there are a wide range of new, fun and/or extremely scary ones out there on he market. Whether you're a ghoul or a boy, a ghost or a goblin, a vampire, a wolfman or a mummy--you'll find something at http://www.dreamascream.com/. They have the newest, hottest, hippest, most frightening costumes. And one of the best things about it is that they're reasonably priced. Halloween is rapidly approaching, so why not check them out today?

My Douche Bag of the Decade

I haven’t selected a Douche Bag of the Month this year, although there have been many very deserving candidates. But, this one has been bugging me for so long that I finally had to write about it. You may remember the tiger incident at the San Francisco Zoo last Christmas. Really, who can forget it? It was a huge story nationally and it isn’t going away.
There is no doubt in my mind that the incident was caused when three juvenile delinquents (or maybe just two and a tag along) taunted the tiger and caused the whole affair. Evidence in the civil case will prove this, I am certain. Whatever happened (and I obviously have my own opinions) when it was all over one young man and one tiger were dead.
As the story has evolved, we’ve had the unpleasant experience of finding out more and more about the Dhaliwal brothers, the two survivors of the tragedy. We now know one thing for certain—they’re basically punks; wannabe gangsters and future inmates of our penal system.
Well, karma has reared its justified head in these idiots’ direction and payback as they say, is a bitch. And now Paul Dhaliwal, the more offensive of the two, is off to San Quentin. I hope his cellmate is a big, muscular, tiger-loving PETA member. The world has a funny way of making things right, doesn’t it?
This appeared in the Mercury News late last week:
Last Christmas, Amritpal "Paul" Dhaliwal, his brother and longtime friend Carlos ran, bloodied and terrified, as a 250-pound Siberian tiger at the San Francisco Zoo attacked them after escaping from its cement enclosure.
But this year, it's likely 20-year-old Dhaliwal will spend the holiday locked away.
Dhaliwal was sentenced to spend more than a year in state prison this week in connection with a series of run-ins with the law, unrelated to the Christmas Day tiger mauling that wounded him and his brother and left his younger friend, Carlos Sousa Jr., dead.
The ruling marked a strange chapter in the bizarre case that riveted people worldwide with the attack's brutal violence. In the fallout of the Christmas tragedy - which left both Sousa and the tiger, Tatiana, dead - accusations flew at the zoo, the tiger and at the young men themselves.
In the months that followed, more and more, Dhaliwal - who still has the scars from where the tiger clawed at his head - went from victim to pariah, blamed for provoking the attack and sometimes refusing to cooperate with the police investigation.
However, to date, no charges have been filed against either Dhaliwal brother in relation to the mauling.
Today, Paul Dhaliwal's rap sheet includes everything from evading arrest to probation violations for fleeing from sheriff's deputies while pushing speeds more than 130 mph on the highway. In a few weeks, he's headed to San Quentin prison.
He and his older brother Kulbir, who is due in court next week to face his own set of charges, were hoping to win a sizable sum of money after they filed a negligence and defamation suit against the city of San Francisco and the zoo in March.
But hours after the filing, Paul Dhaliwal was arrested in a Target store in San Leandro on suspicion of shoplifting Nintendo Wii video game controllers, leading a judge to decide that Dhaliwal had violated probation on a previous charge.
"It's clear that Paul Dhaliwal doesn't seem to understand that he has to live within the requirements of civilized society," said Santa Clara County Deputy District Attorney Stuart Scott.
According to Scott, Dhaliwal pleaded guilty Wednesday in Santa Clara County to charges he battered an officer during a run-in with police near his San Jose home in September 2007. He struck one of the officers with his forearm after he and Kulbir tried to flee.
The week before, Paul Dhaliwal was in another Santa Clara County courtroom, where a judge sentenced him to 16 months for a probation violation.
Kulbir Dhaliwal will be in Santa Clara County Superior Court on Monday to face misdemeanor charges of public drunkenness and resisting arrest connected to the same run-in with police that his brother pleaded guilty to this week.
Calls to their attorneys Friday were not returned.
The sentencing will likely hurt their civil claim that the zoo's hired spin doctors defamed the Dhaliwals' reputation by claiming they had provoked the tiger.
"The last thing you want to do in the middle of a high-profile lawsuit is get in this kind of trouble," said Steve Clark, a San Jose legal analyst and former prosecutor. "You are contaminating a potential jury pool by putting yourself constantly in the media for the wrong reasons."
But, Michael Cardoza, attorney for the Sousa family, added the zoo should still provide the same level of safety, regardless of what might show up on their rap sheets.
"One would think that anybody going to the zoo should be equally protected from the animals, no matter what their background," Cardoza said. "What do we say? Felons shouldn't go?"
But for at least one person, the Dhaliwals' problems don't really matter anymore: Sousa's mother, Marilza Sousa, last spoke to the pair before her son's funeral.
These days, Sousa has been too busy thinking about her son's upcoming birthday in September, when he would have turned 18.
Already, she's dreading the holidays.
"For us, it's not Christmas anymore."