Wayward Whales Winding Way Homeward?

Two whales that lost their way more than ten days ago are now circling near a Sacramento River bridge about 70 miles from the open waters of the Pacific Ocean.

At first, scientists suggested banging pipes underwater to scare the whales toward the ocean, but that hasn’t seemed to move them. Now experts have come up with a second method that they’re confident will work.

“We’ve decided to really frighten and disgust the whales, so that they’ll leave this river and never came back,” said Hemma Rhoidal, spokesperson for WAPT (Whales Are People Too), an organization that assists whales in trouble, including those with drug, krill or alcohol problems.

“Banging pipes hasn’t worked, so we’re going to try and make some noise that will surely distress these animals,” Rhoidal said. “We’re going to start playing Joy Behar comedy albums, as well as Barry Manilow and Captain and Tenille records. If that doesn’t send them packing, nothing will.”

The organization has a special audio system that will play the records underwater. They’re also considering playing Andrew Dice Clay and Emo Phillips comedy albums, as well as Paula Abdul and Yoko Ono songs.

“If that doesn’t work, we’re going to invest in a video system and start showing them Ashton Kutcher movies. But, that’s a last resort. It’s very risky, because it could also kill the whales -- from boredom. Even whales know crappy acting when they see it.”

Both whales, believed to be a mother and her calf, are wounded, apparently from a run-in with a boat’s propeller.

“The wounds appear to have worsened over time and their skin has changed from smooth and shiny to irregular and pitted,” said Frances Guiland of the Marine Mammal Center.
Fresh water from the Sacramento River could hamper the whales’ recovery, biologists said. Skin samples taken from the mother whale on Monday were sent to out-of-state labs to assess her general health and help identify her population stock.

Some crews in the more than two dozen boats blocking the humpbacks’ path up the river tried herding the mother and her calf downstream by banging metal pipes beneath the water.
The challenge, officials said, was encouraging the pair to return to salt water quickly but without resorting to tactics that could upset the whales.

“Stressing even a healthy whale is not good. Stressing an injured whale is worse,” said Brian Gorman, a spokesman for the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration.

The humpbacks, nicknamed Delta and Dawn, had traveled 90 miles inland more than a week ago before turning around at the Port of Sacramento on Sunday. They were making progress Monday until they reached the Rio Vista Bridge and began swimming in circles.

Scientists theorized the whales began circling because vibrations from traffic upset them. The pair could not be coaxed forward even when the drawbridge was raised to halt the flow of vehicles.

Scientists have been watching the two closely because their route includes sloughs leading to muddy deltas where the whales could become lost and trapped.

The pair also faces a couple more highway bridges between Rio Vista and San Francisco Bay, including the Golden Gate.

Federal officials have authorized researchers to fire darts carrying a satellite tracking device beneath the mother’s fin to monitor her location, but two days of gusty winds and choppy waters have delayed the tagging.

Joy Behar: A Reason to Welcome Death

One of the web sites I write for, www.bayareacritic.com, is offering 1/2 price tickets to see comedienne Joy Behar perform in SF. It seems like she's having problems selling tickets and I'm not surprised. I would rather die a slow death than listen to this yenta ramble on. She is so tremendously unfunny that I can't describe the pain I feel every time I happen to hear her tell a joke. My favorite female comics are Ellen Degeneres, Paula Poundstone, Margaret Cho (she's incredible!) and Kathy Griffin. Joy Behar is a complete hack. I just thought I'd vent. Sorry.

Amy and Joey: A Romance Revisited

It’s like a bad rash that won’t go away. Most of us want to forget it ever happened, but the two main parties involved won’t let it fade away. No, I’m not talking about Brad and Jennifer, John and Jessica or even Ann and Ellen. I’m talking about Amy and Joey. And I don’t know why I’m even wasting my time.

Joey Buttafuoco and his Long Island Lolita, Amy Fisher, renewed their highly dysfunctional relationship last week with their first date in 15 years. The man and the girl who tried to kill his wife and is now all grown-up, had their big night out in Port Jefferson, Long Island.

A torrid affair between the auto mechanic and his underage lover dampened in 1992 when Fisher shot Buttafuoco's then-wife, Mary Jo, in the head, but recent circumstances evidently made Joey's heart grow fonder for Fisher.

"We started talking when Joey was in jail," Fisher said.

Buttafuoco, 53, recently ended a three-month stint in a California slammer for ammunition possession.

Joey's current spouse and Amy's husband both recently served them with divorce papers.
That set the stage for last night's "date" at swanky Pace's Steakhouse.

Fisher, now 32, was dressed to the nines in a shapely dark sleeveless halter dress and heels.
Buttafuoco appeared almost chivalrous as he offered Amy his arm and held an umbrella to protect her from the ominous storm clouds.

They dined on oysters on the half shell and surf and turf, according to inside sources. They shared chocolate mousse and creme brulée for dessert.

Cynics have said the get-together is about money rather than love. A TV producer is shopping a reality show about Amy and Joey.

I cannot believe that this is anything more than a media stunt. How can Joey Buttafuoco be so callous? This is the woman who attempted to kill his wife at the time. The only reason Mary Jo isn’t dead is because Amy was high on drugs and is obviously a lousy shot.
What must Joey’s children think? The guy is a philanderer, a cheat, a skirt chasing dirt bag and now he wants to re-visit an affair that almost ended up in his ex-wife’s death?

When I hear about stuff like this, it makes me realize that the only reason we’re above chimps on the evolutionary scale is because we were lucky enough to get opposable thumbs.

Joey and Amy are my Douche Bags of the Month for May and are definitely in the running for the annual award!

Raunch Dressing, Anyone?

Let me have the extreme pleasure of introducing you to Marco Raphael Castro. He’s the sick little Illinois high school student who surrendered recently to face charges resulting from a revolting lunchroom prank he pulled one day during lunch.

According to Wheaton police and school officials, the 17-year-old senior ejaculated into a bottle of ranch salad dressing and returned the befouled condiment to the Wheaton North High School cafeteria. It is unclear if the dressing was used by any students before the container was cleaned and refilled the following day. Castro, pictured here in these Wheaton Police Department mug shots, has been charged with disorderly conduct and attempted aggravated battery, both misdemeanors. School officials learned of the prank from other students.

Whatever happened to the kinds of pranks we pulled in my day? Like putting chalk in the chalkboard erasers; snapping girls’ bra straps, giving kids wedgies(or melvins/snuggies as some called them back then); pink bellies, Indian burns or putting Ben-Gay or Nair in guy’s jocks during P.E.?

Sure, we used to do stuff that was borderline – like throw eggs at teachers or play the old dog crap in the flaming newspaper on the neighbors’ porch trick – but spanking the monkey into a bottle of salad dressing never even crossed our minds. It just shows how much our society has changed.

This twisted degenerate is a poor excuse for a human being and needs a ton of shrink time to figure out why he’s so bent. Obviously what he did was a cry for help. In retrospect, if the alternative was another Virginia Tech or Columbine, what this punk did was fairly harmless. In the meantime, his photo will live for an eternity on the Internet. It will be a miracle if he ever gets a date with a girl again. If I were him, I’d date salad dressings. I hear Thousand Island is a lot of fun!

It's ALL in Orlando

One of the most fun places on the planet is Orlando, Florida. Orlando has it all and more – from golf to fishing, great restaurants and shows, not to mention all of the amazing amusement parks – if and when I visit Florida, Orlando is where I’m headed. I am considering a vacation home Orlando right now. You’d be pleasantly surprised to see all of the great prices and luxury amenities that you can get from some of these super rental homes. If you’re going to the Land of Mickey and Friends, there’s really no other way to go. Rent a beautiful vacation home in Orlando and have the time of your life!

The Student Loan Consolidation Solution is a Winner!

Many of us still have student loans we’re paying off. I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m 48 and I’m still paying mine off. By consolidating your student loan (which many people are doing these days) you can save. I knopw for a fact that school loan consolidation is extremely popular, because if just makes good sense. If your student loan payments are bogging you down financially, the consolidation solution is a viable way to alleviate the pain of big monthly payments. Saving money on your student loans should not be a stressful, arduous task. I have found a great web site that makes the process easy. They have no application fees, no credit check and they make it as easy as it can possibly be. It's a good time to consider school loan consolidation.

The Saddest Thing About Old Ballplayers is....they die!

I have interviewed 36 retired baseball players since 2002, and one thing they all have in common is that they're very old (average age probably 75). So, I am always depressed when I hear that one of them has died. Last night, my good friend Rod Nelson from SABR (www.sabr.org) sent me this e-mail. I interviewed Bill Wight in 2003 in Sacramento and I remember that he was just a very sweet and gentle man. We talked for over an hour at an Applebee's restaurant and he ate his favorite thing -- a big juicy cheeseburger with avocado!

Bill Wight, 85, scouting great & former major-league pitcher dies

He discovered and signed some of baseball brightest starsBill Wight, a well-respected major-league pitcher and scout and an influential figure on Sacramento baseball, died Thursday morning from a heart attack in Mount Shasta. He was 85.

Wight, a resident of Carmichael since 1969, was vacationing with his wife of 60 years, Janice. In addition to his wife, Wight is survived by his son Larry Wight, a professor at Sierra College, granddaughter Susan Walters of Seattle and grandson Bill Wight of Orange County.

Funeral services are pending.As a left-handed pitcher in the American League, Wight played from 1946 through 1958 for the New York Yankees, Chicago White Sox, Boston Red Sox, Detroit Tigers and Cleveland Indians.In 1953, he battled for a spot in the Indians rotation that featured future Hall of Famers Bob Lemon, Bob Feller and Early Wynn. In 1958 with an aching arm, he wound up in the National League with the Cincinnati Reds and St. Louis Cardinals. His career major-league pitching record was 77-99 with a 3.95 earned-run average.Wight debuted with the Yankees in 1946. His best year was 1949 with the White Sox, when he was 15-13 with a 3.31 ERA.Born in Rio Vista, Wight grew up in Oakland. He was signed to as contract with the Yankees by Joe Devine in 1941, according to a story published by The Bee in 1984. He broke in at Idaho Falls of the Pioneer League, pitched the next year for Binghamton, and in 1942, he entered the Navy at St. Mary's Pre-flight School where his manager-coach was future Hall of Famer Charlie Gehringer.After the war he made the Yankees' big-league roster as a reliever.
He had one of the best pick-off moves in the game, catching dozens of off-guard base runners during his career. Even as a young pro, he was so proficient with his move, he was asked to work with Yankees pitchers and base runners before the 1941 World Series."He had the best move I've ever seen," said longtime friend Ronnie King, who scouted for the Los Angeles Dodgers, Pittsburgh Pirates and Philadelphia Phillies.
Wight played with Hall of Famers Joe DiMaggio, Ted Williams and Yogi Berra. He met Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig."He always kicked himself for not getting their autographs," said Bill Wight, his grandson.Wight sold real estate after his playing career ended before becoming a professional scout with the Houston Astros in 1962.Wight spent the next 37 year peering through backstops and filling out scouting reports, with the Astros for five years and with the Braves for the remainder of his scouting career.With the Astros, he signed Hall of Famer Joe Morgan and as the person overseeing regional scouts for the Braves, he signed two-time N.L. MVP Dale Murphy. He also signed Bob Horner and Sacramento-products Dusty Baker, Jeff Blauser, Rowland Office, Taylor Duncan and Andy Finlay.
Throughout his scouting career, he expended a lot of bonus money. "It has to be in the millions," he told Bee columnist Bill Conlin in 1984. "I've spent it in about every state in the Union."Conlin wrote: "When you spend that much of the bosses' money, you have to enjoy their confidence, which Bill plainly does."Wight was named Scout of the Year in 1992 and in 2005 was inducted into the San Diego Padres Pacific Coast League Hall of Fame. His plaque is next to Ted Williams at Petco Park in San Diego."Bill is one of the nicest guys I've ever met in the game," King said.
"He was some scout, too." --------------------------------------------------------------------------------By Mark McDermott - BEE SPORTS STAFF
Published 2:49 pm PDT Friday, May 18, 2007

The SABR Scouts Committee credits Bill Wight with this list of player signings:
1962 Houston Astros Ernie Fazio

1962 Houston Astros Joe Morgan

1963 Houston Astros Larry Howard

1963 Milwaukee Braves Walt Williams

1965 Houston Astros Keith Lampard

1967 Atlanta Braves Dusty Baker

1970 Atlanta Braves Taylor Duncan

1970 Atlanta Braves Rowland Office

1970 Atlanta Braves Jack Pierce

1974 Atlanta Braves Dale Murphy

1975 Atlanta Braves Glenn Hubbard

1977 Atlanta Braves Bob Porter

1978 Atlanta Braves Bob Horner

1980 Atlanta Braves Ken Dayley

1980 Atlanta Braves Brian Fisher

1984 Atlanta Braves Jeff Blauser

1984 Atlanta Braves Drew Denson

1985 Atlanta Braves Tommy Greene

1985 Atlanta Braves David Justice

1986 Atlanta Braves Kevin Brown

1986 Atlanta Braves Kent Mercker

*SABR member Ed Attanacio did an oral history interview with Bill on 9/11/2003 and I'll post a link to that later this weekend.

FROM THE BALLPLAYERS - BASEBALLLIBRARY.COM
Wight, an unproven youngster in 1948, was halfway from California to the Yankees' spring training camp in Florida when he heard he had been traded to the White Sox. Chicago trained in Pasadena, CA; Wight had to turn his car around and head west. He became manager Ted Lyons's number-one starter but went 9-20 for the last-place club, walking a league-high 135 batters. He rebounded for his best season in 1949, going 15-13. In 1950, he went 0-for-61 at bat, an AL record for futility. Traded to Boston after the season, he pitched for six teams in the next seven years, never again winning more than nine. (RL)

FROM THE BASEBALL CHRONOLOGY» February 24, 1948: In a key trade for New York, Ed Lopat goes to the Yankees from the White Sox in exchange for C Aaron Robinson, Bill Wight, and Fred Bradley. Lopat will star for seven seasons in pinstripes, winning 21 in 1951 and going 16–4 in 1953. Robinson's main value to the Sox will come at the end of the season when he's swapped for another lefty pitcher, Billy Pierce.

» August 20, 1948: The Indians draw record 78,382 for the largest crowd to attend a night game. The Indians go on to beat the Chicago White Sox, 1–0, at Memorial Stadium as Satchel Paige blanks the opposition on three hits for the 4th consecutive shutout by Cleveland hurlers. Bill Wight is the hard-luck loser. Besides Paige, Gene Bearden, Sam Zoldak, and Bob Lemon fired shutouts.

» May 15, 1949: White Sox hurler Bill Wight coasts to a 10–0 win over the Indians, and Al Gettel follows with a 2–0 whitewash of the Tribe.

» April 17, 1951: Rain cancels yesterday's presidential opener in Washington, washing out the debut of rookie Tom Morgan. Morgan would have been the first Yankee rookie ever to start an opener. Clad in an army uniform, Whitey Ford tosses out the first pitch today at Yankee Stadium, and Vic Raschi scatters six singles to shut out the Red Sox, 5–0. Bill Wight gives up all the Yankee runs, including a two-run homer to Jackie Jensen in the 3rd inning. Mickey Mantle, making his debut before 44,860, has one hit and scores a run. Also debuting is public address announcer Bob Sheppard.

» May 30, 1951: In a doubleheader loss with Boston, Yankee slugger Mickey Mantle strikes out three times in the opener, and twice more to start the 2nd game: Casey Stengel lifts the slugger in the middle of the game for Cliff Mapes. In the opener, Ted Williams scores from 2B on a sacrifice bunt, and then ties the game with a home run. Vern Stephens 15th inning homer off Spec Shea wins it for Boston, 11–10. Williams then ties the nitecap with a double and Stephens' single drives him home with the game winner as Boston triumphs, 9–4. Ray Scarborough and Bill Wight are today's winners. The loss drops the Yanks into 2nd place, where they'll stay for a month.

» September 7, 1951: The A's split a pair with the Red Sox, losing 8–5 to Bill Wight, before winning, 11–4. Billy Hitchcock has two triples and double in game two good for five RBIs. Bosox reliever Ellis Kinder makes his 54th appearance in the opener, breaking Wilcy Moore's club record set in 1931. Boston slips in the American League race to four games back.

» June 3, 1952: In a blockbuster trade between Detroit and Boston, the Red Sox send Walt Dropo, Don Lenhardt, Johnny Pesky, Fred Hatfield, and Bill Wight to the Tigers for 3B George Kell, Hoot Evers, Dizzy Trout, and Johnny Lipon.

» May 5, 1953: Pitcher Bob Porterfield of the Senators hits his first ML homer, a 4th inning grand slam off Bill Wight of Detroit, and the Nats add six more in the 8th to roll to a 14–4 win.

» July 13, 1955: The Orioles deal OF Hoot Evers to the Indians in exchange for P Bill Wight.

» August 31, 1955: Lefty Bill Wight of the Orioles gives up five runs in the first and then no-hits his former Indian teammates for eight innings. He loses 5-1.

Rollie Stiles: The Oldest Living Baseball Player

At 100, Rollie Stiles is the oldest living former major league player. He is one of only five people left on the planet who either played with or against Babe Ruth. He pitched for Oklahoma State University and played for almost 14 years in the minors and majors. He was a middle reliever, a spot starter and an occasional closer for the St. Louis Browns in ’30, ’31 and ’33. His career won-loss record was 9-14. He completed 9 games, threw one shutout and gave up 16 home runs (including one controversial HR to the mighty Babe that he says may not have happened, although he can’t be sure.) His lifetime ERA was 5.92 and he wasn’t a bad hitter, batting .270 in 1930. In 1931, Stiles finished 15 games for the Browns, which ranked 8th in the AL for that season. At 100, his long-term memory is excellent, although he does have problems recalling things that happened within the last few years. When I asked him about a speech he gave last November to around 300 people at a St. Louis Browns reunion, it came as a surprise to him. He has no recollection of the event.

Pitching to Lou Gehrig: "He was the best hitter I ever faced. That’s what I thought about it. I couldn’t throw a ball anywhere where he wouldn’t hit it. He was just happy to see me go in there. I think he could hit anything I threw. If he could reach it, he could hit it."

Managed by Rogers Hornsby: "Yeah, that has to be the darkest part of my career. He was a great ball player -- I’ll say that for him. He was a great second baseman. He was a good hitter. But, his personality was altogether different. I don’t really want to say anything more on that subject. I can’t ever remember anyone being happy that they played for Rogers Hornsby."

Playing against Babe Ruth: "I am proud to say that I got the chance to pitch against the man. They say he hit a home run off of me, but I don’t remember it. Well, now wait a minute. I know one of the games when I was pitching against the Yankees, he hit a ball right down the right field line, and, of course, the right field bleachers was pavilion-like and there was a screen that there was there to protect the right fielder that went about halfway down over that pavilion. So, he hit a high fly ball and I believe it hit the foul pole and bounced down on the roof of that pavilion. I know this happened. Now, whether that was a home run or not, I don’t remember. But, I know he did that and it could have been a home run. I don’t remember how it was scored."

Pitching against the good teams: "Well, it just seemed to me like every time I went in to pitch, either Ruth, Gehrig or some of those players from the Athletics was up at the plate. At that time, the Athletics had the best ball team baseball. When you went in to pitch to those fellas, you had to struggle all the time. And it wasn’t just the good hitters with the Athletics, it was their infielders too – the second baseman, third baseman, like that. When those guys got on a good team they became great hitters. That’s the way it was with everybody on that team, the Athletics. They had Simmons, Foxx, Cochrane, Dykes – you had to struggle with everybody on that club. You couldn’t look at any one hitter and say I’m gonna get this dood out. If you wasn’t careful, he’d slam one out between the outfielders somewhere, and you’d be in big trouble. It was murder having to go out and pitch to the Athletics."

Throwing illegal pitches: "I have an idea that back then some pitchers did things to the ball that they weren’t supposed to be doing. I wouldn’t be surprised if at that time there were more spitball pitchers than there ever were before. Now, I could throw a pretty good knuckleball, and sometimes I’d throw that. But, that was a legitimate pitch. But, I know there was cheating going on back then, with the spitball and things like that. There weren’t that many complaints about it. Once in a while somebody would squawk, you know, but officially there were never any complaints. At least not that I knew about."

When informed that he’s the oldest living major league baseball player: "Am I really the oldest? Are you sure about that? You’re kidding? I didn’t know that."

Why he thinks he lived so long: "Hell, I don’t know. I was sick all the time when I was going to school. I would miss at least a week of school every term with the flu, or something like that every year. I had nearly every disease you could have as a kid. I was always sick. I always drank a little bit and I smoked cigarettes during my whole baseball career. So, I can’t tell you why I’ve lived so long."

BayWolf in Oakland: Food to Howl About!

BayWolf Restaurant in Oakland is why I personally eat out. Inventive, creative and very different food is the only reason, I believe, to go to restaurants. Without sounding snobby, I can honestly say that my fiancée and I are fairly decent cooks. If we want to eat something that we know how to make, we can stay home and cook it.

We’re not wealthy, so cooking and eating at home is attractive to both our palates and our wallets. We have a lot of high-end (and high-priced) grocery stores in San Francisco, so we can get anything we want to take home and prepare. Even if we go to Whole Paycheck, it’s still more affordable than going to a restaurant. Sure, you have to wash the dishes when you eat at home, but you also don’t have to tip anybody.

So, when we do decide to go out and eat, we want to try something distinctive that we can’t get at home. We want to sample new foods, flavors or textures. We want to experience unique and different cooking techniques and taste combinations.

That’s why BayWolf is very high on our list. It’s one of the most imaginative places in the Bay Area. Founding Owner Michael Wild says that “little things make a large difference in a small restaurant. We agonize over small details and play with them endlessly, tweaking as we go, discussing the niceties of the particulars inherent in getting it right.”

Wild’s main inspiration is Elizabeth David. “Her books are pressed on every one of our kitchen staff. We expect them to embrace her injunction to cook with care and skill, regard for the quality of the materials, without extravagance and pretension.” I think that says it all. The people at BayWolf make food to impress themselves and no one else. They aren’t trying to show off tricks they learned in culinary school. And the end result is pure magnificence.

Wild (who is also the executive chef) and Chef de Cuisine Louis de Gassic offer a new menu with a different theme every month, celebrating the season’s prime ingredients and regional cuisines of the Mediterranean. For instance, May is “andiamo in Italia” month, featuring primarily Italian dishes; and June is “Back to Burgundy” month.

One thing that’s always on the menu is the famous BayWolf locally raised duck. This place does things with duck that no other restaurant can. They know duck! When we ate at BayWolf recently, we had the Liberty Ranch Duck Breast with grilled asparagus and a balsamic vinegar glaze ($25). Duck is a tricky bird to make right, and this breast was so right it made me cry (privately.) Moist inside with crispy skin, the glaze accentuated the deep, rich flavors of the duck in a way I’d not experienced before. This little quacker did not die in vain. We also had a Duck Liver Flan with pickled onions, cornichons and olives ($12.50) that was incredible.

Other items we sampled included the Seared Tuna-Stuffed Calamari with curly cress and pimenton vinaigrette ($11.25); and a Grilled Adriatic Ling Cod with duck fat fries, roasted green beans and salsa verde ($22). Who does ling cod anymore? Unbelievable.
Signature side dishes are also well-known at BayWolf. Other than the duck fat fries, I can also heartily recommend the lemon mashed potatoes and the garlic spinach.

One dessert that really stood out was Rose-scented Parfait – a rice pudding with mango confit and candied pistachios ($8.50).

BayWolf is located at 3853 Piedmont Avenue in Oakland. The place is hopping, so reservations are always suggested. Their phone number is: (510 655-6004.

Go to BayWolf once and you’ll be howling for more even before you hit the door.

What Gas Boycott?

Supposedly there was a big nationwide gas boycott yesterday. The only problem is that no one noticed. If people need gas, they will buy it. Some dumb boycott is not going to do anything. If folks really care, they'll get out of their cars and start walking, riding bicycles and/or using public transportation. When will that happen? Not any time soon!