Lost & Crazed Youth

What is it with kids today? I know I was no saint when I was in my teens, but it just seems like its gotten a lot worse out there. I blame the media, our permissiveness, and the fact that many parents just don’t give a s---! This whole thing with Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton is just an indicator of what our children are out there doing. It’s unbelievable. I’m just happy that I don’t have any children of my own, really. I have enough problems without worrying about my child having unprotected sex, doing drugs and generally acting like a fool. I reserve that type of behavior for myself!

Say Hello to Momma

SAY HELLO TO MOMMA
Lyrics by Ed Attanasio
Music by Mickey Joseph

Say hello to Momma.
But please keep it brief.
The woman’s got a penchant for sharing all her grief.

Say hello to Momma.
Then get out of that room.
It’s been all gloom and doom with Mom since the day I left her womb.

CHORUS

She’ll mess up your brain.
All she is does is complain.
About her incessant pain.
But the pain she’s deliverin’
Is to all her children.
Because the woman’s driving us insane.

Her tales of pain and woe.
Will make you want to croak.
You’ll wish you were dead, that’s right.

So, say hello to Momma.
Greet her when you meet her.
And then get the hell out of her sight.

So, say hello and then get out.
Unless you want to hear about her gout.

Say hey and get out of the way.
Before she starts talking tooth decay.

She’s got bursitis in both shoulders, big blisters on her feet.
Diseases and maladies too numerous to repeat.

She sends me real sad e-mails about her ingrown toenails.
Tells all the neighbors I was the most difficult of labors.

Her varicose veins throb when it rains.
And her bunions smell like onions late at night.

Phentermine is Effective!

Many of my friends are recommending this appetite suppressant called Phentermine. Phentermine is a drug primarily used as an appetite suppressant. Chemically, it is an amphetamine (and a phenethylamine). It is typically prescribed for individuals who are at increased medical risk because of their weight, as opposed to cosmetic weight loss. It is a viable alternative to other diets pills, from what I have heard and read. Check it out and make your own educated decision.

Billionaire Baseball Player Richest Man in Sports!

This guy is the richest baseball player in the world and he hasn’t even made the team yet. I love it. All of these overpriced prima donnas must be jealous as hell. Now every MLB player in the league is going to be hiring a geologist.
This article was on AOL today:

VERO BEACH, Fla. (AP) -- Matt White a journeyman pitcher trying to make the Los Angeles Dodgers, could become baseball's first billionaire player.
It has nothing to do with his arm. He owns a rock quarry in western Massachusetts.
White, who has appeared in seven big league games in nine professional seasons, paid $50,000 three years ago to buy 50 acres of land from an elderly aunt who needed the money to pay for a nursing home.
While clearing out a couple acres to build a home, he discovered stone ledges in the ground, prompting him to have the property surveyed.
A geologist estimated there were 24 million tons of the stone on his land. The stone is being sold for upward of $100 per ton, meaning there's well over $2 billion worth of material used for sidewalks, patios and the like.
Of course, that doesn't factor in the expenses involved in processing the stone and transporting it for sale.
"It sounds bogus even saying those numbers," White said. "I'm just a small town guy trying to get to the big leagues. It's beyond comprehension."
The news has prompted some of White's teammates to refer to him as "The Billionaire," but the 29-year-old left-hander isn't counting his money just yet.
"There are a lot of questions," he said. "It takes time, it takes money, it takes machines. There are professionals who handle that stuff."
White's father has been involved in selling the stone, but it's presently a small-time operation.
"I guess you could say the property is for sale," White said with a chuckle. "We'll have to see how things turn out. I don't even know where to start. I'm in the process now of getting in touch with business-savvy guys, finding out how much to ask."
White said he doesn't feel like he's wealthy, which he isn't quite yet.
"Not at all. I don't live like a rich man," he said. "I'm a minor league guy who's played winter ball to make ends meet."
Dr. Peter Pannish, an adjunct professor in the department of geosciences at the University of Massachusetts, surveyed the property.
"It's basically a slabby rock that can be used for sidewalks, building faces and stone walls," Pannish said from his Amherst, Mass., office. "You can use it for a lot of other things, like flagstone on a patio. There are some sidewalks right here on campus that are made of that same rock."
Pannish said he believes White could sell his property for several million dollars, or more.
"As far as hundreds of millions, I doubt if that's possible because of all the expenses that would have to be considered," Pannish said. "But it could be quite a bit of money. He probably needs a mining engineer or an economic geologist to come up with a good evaluation."
White has received inquiries about making national television appearances, and has even been contacted about a possible movie. He is represented by Herbie Zucker of Zucker Sports Management in Chicago.
But for now, White is concentrating on his day job. And that's no surprise, considering pitching in the big leagues has been a lifelong dream.
"They say lefties bloom later than righties. I keep telling myself that," he said. "I'm here to make the big-league team. I feel confident about that, absolutely. I've had some pretty good years in Triple-A.
"I plan to play baseball until I can't play anymore. My goal is to play in the big leagues, regardless of what happens with the rock quarry."
White signed a minor league contract last December with the Dodgers -- his eighth organization. He has appeared in 254 minor league games, 136 of them starts.
White pitched in three games each for Boston and Seattle in 2003, and one for Washington in 2005, going 0-2 and allowing 18 earned runs in 9 2-3 innings.
The Boston manager in 2003 was current Dodgers skipper Grady Little.
"The kid has a genuine love for the game," Little said. "He's quite a competitor, he's always striving to get better. It's not about money for him. He's prepared himself well coming into camp and he'll be going after somebody's job. He'll be given an opportunity.
"It's a tough hill to climb. We have 28 pitchers in camp, we'll leave spring training with 11 or 12. Before it's over, we might need 20. He's in there trying to get a job."
With that, Little smiled and said: "Along the way, if anybody needs landscaping stone, we know where to find it."

Everyone's Barking About Bay Woof!

There is a wonderful new dog publication in the Bay Area and it’s called Bay Woof. For people who own or love dogs like we do, it’s a breath of fresh air. Our little mutt Ratdog is being considered for a column in this new monthly magazine, and he’s obviously very excited. Keep your paws crossed! And be sure to look out for Bay Woof.

I swiped this from Bay Woof’s web site: www.baywoof.com:

"Bay Woof is an informative and entertaining monthly newspaper for dogs and their people. Our mission is to be the voice of the local dog community and an essential resource forpeople who love their pets – the wonderfully dense and diverse population of the San Francisco Bay Area.
Bay Woof will launch with the March 2007 edition, due to hit the stands on February 15th. Our website will launch the same day, offering content from the paper, lost and found, and lists of resources in the area.
The paper will be available at dog-specific locations– like vet clinics, animal shelters, and pet stores – as well as general community gathering places, such as bookstores and cafes.
M. Rocket, publisher/art director, is thrilled to begin this new venture with colleagues from a former local dog paper. We’ll be sharing our love of dogs as we bring you the best of the Bay’s canine news and views, each and every month.
Readers will find engaging articles by local dog people, including the best and brightest of Bay Area pet professionals. Great graphic design will make the paper a visual feast, and you’ll find wonderful photos, drawings, and cartoons in every issue. Articles will cover a wide range of topics, including dog training and health, dog-friendly travel, dog sports, and all things canine."

My Interview with Hobie Landrith

Hobie Landrith is perhaps best known as the New York Mets' first pick in the 1961 expansion draft. Manager Casey Stengel explained the choice by saying, "You gotta have a catcher or you're gonna have a lot of passed balls." Landrith had been a backup for the Reds (1950-55) but was traded after the 1955 season, when he had missed time with a broken collarbone. He was a regular for a weak Cubs team in 1956 and hit .221 while leading the all NL catchers in errors. As a regular on the 1959 Giants, Landrith had his best season, hitting .251 with 29 RBI and 30 runs in 283 AB’s.

The Early Days: I was lucky because I had an early childhood experience in baseball that probably a lot of other kids would want to copy. When I was 15 years old, playing baseball on the sandlots of Detroit, a Detroit Tigers scout approached me and asked if I would want to come down to Tiger Stadium and catch batting practice while they were trying to get Hank Greenberg into shape. He had been in the military, had been released, and the Tigers were on the road, and it was a 10-to-15-day span that he was going to be working out, hitting balls and catching balls, whatever. I jumped at the chance and this brought me into contact with members of the Detroit Tigers baseball team, and when the team returned home, they asked me if I would be catch batting practice. I was just overwhelmed by the opportunity to be rubbing shoulders with these players. It was great because it gave me an insight into what it would be like to be a major league baseball player. It was at that time that I felt like, yes, if I worked hard and really honed my skills, that I might have a chance to play in the major leagues. Five years later I was there.

His Catching Skills: I was in the major leagues more because I was a good defensive catcher, and the fact that I was good at handling pitchers. I always thought I was a fairly decent hitter, but I realized that I wasn’t in the big leagues for my bat. I had what they called “warning track power.” You know, I’d hit the ball pretty good, the fans would get up on their feet, and then they’d groan, because the ball would die at the warning track.

I became good at handling pitchers from things I had learned from Birdie Tebbetts when I was with the Reds. He taught me when to get on ‘em, when to not get on ‘em. I was able to recognize when a pitcher was losing his stuff or losing his composure and tried to get him back on track. And sometimes I had to play the bad guy and say things to the pitcher to get him riled up. I called all my own pitches.

On Umpires: You have to know your umpires, number one. And you’ve got to be careful of what you say and how frequently you say it. I remember Al Barlick, first time I said something to him, and he told me, “You do the catching and I’ll do the umpiring, okay?” He said it in a very stern way. And he was the best umpire in the National League at that time. And I said, “Okay.” So, I knew right then to catch the ball and let him umpire. As long as you didn’t use profanity, you could talk to most umpires and not get thrown out.

Stealing signs: It was 1954, the year the Giants won the pennant, and I was with the Reds that year, and we never beat the Giants at the Polo Grounds. The Giants always seemed to rally late in games and beat us. Well, many years later I found out that they were stealing our signs from center field. In some instances, you’d see a batter swing at a pitch like he knew what was coming, and in those instances we’d knock him flat on his butt, because we didn’t know where they were getting the signs. One time in Milwaukee we found out Braves’ players were getting our signs from the bullpen. They had binoculars out there and they were signaling them in to the batter. After the game, Alvin Dark came into the clubhouse and asked us, “Does anyone have a pair of binoculars?” So, we took them out to the bullpen and gave them some of their own medicine. We killed ‘em that game. That’s why we would change our signs when a guy got a real good cut at a ball. We figured they had our signs and at that point and we’d change them.

Playing in Candlestick: It was a blustery, windy, cold place -- it did everything but snow there. I’ve played in early season games in small towns back East when it was cold, but I have never been as cold as I was at Candlestick Park. And it didn’t matter how many layers of clothing you put on, either. That damp air at night would just chill you to the bone. I remember one night Harvey Kuenn put on a bunch of clothes – he had gloves, sweaters, several pairs of socks, long johns – and he was still freezing.

Playing with Willie Mays: Mays used to always call me “Honest John,” although I don’t know why. He gave some of us strange nicknames. Folks would criticize Willie for being hard to talk to, but it wasn’t always that way. Willie got burned by the press one time too many, and he got a little harder every time it happened. He was never that way with his teammates, though. I loved Willie and I had a great relationship with the man. I still do.

Barry Bonds: Dusty Baker asked me to come to spring training a few years ago to coach the Giant’s catchers, which I did. And I got a chance to see Barry Bonds in the clubhouse. For the most part, he was unapproachable. When he walked around in the clubhouse, you always had an uncertain feeling about him. One time I asked Barry for an autograph and he turned around and walked away from me. Orel Hershiser was there and told him to come back and sign, so he did. Barry is a nice person, but for the most part, in the clubhouse, he was not very approachable.

Playing with Willie McCovey: People ask me all the time, what kind of a guy is Willie McCovey? And I tell them, if Willie walks into a room and smiles, everyone in that room smiles too. I was in the lineup for his first major league game when he went 4-for-4 against Robin Roberts. I just feel fortunate that I was able to play with the man during my career. He’s just a wonderful person.

Being Drafted in 1961 by the Mets: The GM with the Mets was George Weiss, what a piece of work he was. I mean, if you’re the first pick, you figure you should make at least the same as you did the year before, right? No. They offered me three or four thousand dollars less than what I was making with San Francisco. So, I sent the contract back. I told Weiss that I found his offer to be totally unacceptable. He sent me the same contract three times and I sent it back three times. I told him that I’d stay home before I signed I accepted these contracts. He wouldn’t budge, so I finally had to sign. The man was cold, cold, cold, and I didn’t enjoy that at all.

This Week's Restaurant Review: Asia SF in SF

Asia SF represents what San Francisco stands for on so many levels. It’s a wild combination of sexy, forbidden, naughty, unique, tasty and hip. The food has been described as Cal-Asian cuisine, and the entertainers are called gender illusionists, but Asia SF is basically great grub and grand drag. Almost eight years ago, Owners Larry Hashburger and Skip Young opened this place, and this restaurant/lounge/dance club instantly became a SF entertainment landmark. It’s a super popular spot for bachelor, bachelorette and birthday parties and the staff there really knows how to deal with big, rowdy crowds. It takes a certain amount of skill and professionalism to deal with party-crazed patrons and the beautiful people at Asia SF are the best in the business. The stars of the show at Asia SF are the beautiful and talented “ladies” that perform lip synched musical numbers while dancing on the long Chinese red runway bar. These “women” are so stunningly convincing and vivacious that you will forget that they’re really men. I have been to Asia SF several times. We usually bring out-of-towners there, especially our politically conservative friends. To see their expressions when the show begins is priceless. The illusionists do songs from such stars as Beyonce Knowles, Liza Minelli, Marilyn Monroe, Mariah Carey, Janet Jackson, Paula Abdul, Bette Midler and more. In many cases, they dress up like them too. Ronnie Reddick is the choreographer and show director, and he does an excellent job of putting together a fun, provocative show that keeps its sense of humor and never gets trashy. If there is such a thing as a “PG” rating for this type of thing, Asia SF gets it. As for the food, you cannot go wrong with the menu that Chef Matthew Metcalf features at Asia SF. The place has a huge and varied wine list and received the Wine Spectator award from 2001 to 2005. For $48 per person, you can order three selections from Asia SF’s Gold Menu. For larger parties you can experience the place’s Platinum and Diamond Menus, which feature more food and cost more. If you feel like drinking your dinner, one of the great things about Asia SF is that you have the option of ordering a specialty drink instead of food for any course. I recommend the Blackened Tuna Sashimi, a seasoned seared piece of ahi tuna with a lemongrass buerre blanc and pickled vegetable salad. Everybody on the planet does this dish, but Asia SF does it sublimely. Then, there’s their Asia-dilla, a quesadilla stuffed with duck, jack cheese, cilantro and Fresno peppers served with a sun-dried cheery crème fraiche. You won’t find this dilla at Taco Bell, my friend – it’s muy perfecto. I also love the Miso Glazed King Salmon, a sautéed Pacific salmon, finished with a miso glaze, served over black “forbidden” rice with a sweet tomato-edamame salad; and the Orange Lamb, a lamb sirloin sautéed with a spicy orange glaze served with coconut jasmine rice and a Thai cucumber salad. Everything is innovative and perfectly prepared. The portions aren’t huge – slightly larger than tapas and a little smaller than your average appetizer. The one thing that always stands out at Asia SF (despite the gender illusionists) is their incredible signature dessert – the Miniature Ice Cream Cones and Warm Banana Beignets with Chocolate and Caramel Dipping Sauces. It’s a sugar rush that complements the adrenaline rush you’ll get when you experience Asia SF. Asia SF is located at 201 9th Street in San Francisco. Reservations are required. Call (415) 255-8887 to get a spot along the bar. It’s the best place to see this amazing show of food, drink, people and forbidden pleasure.

Academy Awards Pretty Predictable

Last night’s Academy Award Ceremony was fairly predictable, but in the end I would have to give it an overall grade of B-plus. Ellen Degeneres played it pretty safe as the master of ceremonies, but at least she didn’t pull a Letterman. Interviewing the nominees was fun and Degeneres took a laidback, casual approach to the whole affair, which I think came off well. It’s a tough gig and Ellen stepped up. Some of the evening’s major highlights included Forest Whitaker’s acceptance speech while his wife cried, Will Ferrell, Jack Black and John C. Reilly’s song and dance number, the amazing rolling shadow-dancing, Martin Scorsese finally winning, and the fact that Pixar lost for “Cars”, which I thought was mediocre at best. The biggest surprise was when Eddie Murphy lost to Alan Arkin, but it really shouldn’t have been that shocking. The Academy rarely gives statues to comedians, as a rule. The fact that The Departed got the Best Picture nod over Babel was pleasing as well. Babel was a good movie, but there was no way it should have won. I felt like it was basically an art film and a little too depressing and disjointed to be voted the best. In reality, Little Miss Sunshine should have won, but a little comedy without any big names in it was too much of an underdog and was fighting an uphill battle. Honoring Scorsese was essentially a make-up call for all the years that he should have won. Good Fellas, Raging Bull and Casino are all better than The Departed, but who knows how many more films Martin has in his arsenal, so to give it to him now was a good choice. Jennifer Hudson should have won for Dreamgirls, even though it’s a musical and didn’t break any new cinematic ground. Helen Mirren was brilliant in The Queen, so that was a no-brainer. One question: Can’t the Academy afford a larger podium? A couple of the winners, including Alan Arkin, had to actually set their Oscars on the floor next to them while they gave their speeches – how awkward is that? Other notable things that happened last night include:

-Peter O’Toole’s expression when he realized that he lost. The man looked crushed!

-Gwyneth Paltrow’s incredible dress made her look like a tasty peach parfait. I rarely get into the best-and-worst dressed game -- I leave that to the very annoying Joan Rivers -- but Paltrow looked stunning and that dress was awesome. Bad clothing decisions – Nicole Kidman with the giant bow and Anne Hathaway’s gown that made her look like a server at Dairy Queen.
-Jennifer Hudson almost falling out of her dress during the “Dreamgirls” song performance. She was bouncing around so much I got dizzy. And if Beyonce isn’t the hottest woman on the planet, than who is?

-Victories for Pan’s Labyrinth for Best Cinematography and Best Makeup. This amazing deserved everything it got and more, in my opinion.

-Why is J-Lo at all these award ceremonies? And why is she even considered an actress? Lopez could benefit by taking acting lessons from Ashton Kutcher.

-The absence of Borat was a bummer. The story behind his no-show is that Sacha Baron Cohen was asked to appear as himself and refused. Why not let the guy appear as the character that made the most popular comedy of the year?

-An after party note: The leftover food from the Oscar bash is going to be served to a homeless shelter today for lunch. Imagine being homeless and dining on Wolfgang Puck’s salmon with caviar, gold-dusted chocolate-dusted Oscar statues and imported French truffles. All washed down with a half-pint of Thunderbird wine.

30 Baseball Interviews and Counting...

Starting in April of 2002, I began interviewing retired professional baseball players, their relatives, or other people associated with major league baseball, for the Society of American Baseball Research’s (SABR) Oral History Committee. My inspiration for this series of interviews is a wonderful book entitled, “The Glory of Their Times’” in which the late Lawrence Ritter interviewed a handful of major league baseball players who played in the teens and twenties. Before actually reading it, I purchased the book on tape, and listened to it on long drives in the car. Hearing these players’ voices as they recanted their lives and careers through their stories, I became enamored with what they had to say about their own personal perspectives on little pieces of baseball history. And suddenly I realized what really fascinated me about them is that it wasn’t so much about baseball itself, but about the history of this great game and the period in which they played. I enjoyed hearing their versions of the important games they participated in, but I was more interested in what they recalled about the times they lived in. The train rides, the clubhouse banter, their different teammates, the places they hung out at, the stadiums, the fans -- the entire package intrigues me more today than ever, and I just can’t seem to get enough of it.

Last month I did my 30th interview. My goal is 100, which should take a few more years.
Here is a list of the players I’ve taped interviews with:

Duane Pillette
Ernie Broglio
Jesse Gonder
Bob Locker
Bill Wight
Ernie Fazio
Gus Triandos
Joe DeMaestri
Jim Mangan
Eddie Bressoud
Bill Renna
Jim Davenport
Gil Hodges III
Rugger Ardizoa
Dario Lodigiani
Chris Haughey
Cuno Barragan
Hobie Landrith
Ed O’Brien
Nino Bongiovanni
Dick Williams
Gus Zernial
Ernie Fazio
Charlie Silvera
Rob Andrews
Ray Coleman
Bob Roselli
Nate Oliver
Lester Rodney
Joanne Budka-Clines
Erik Johnson
Duane Pillette

Ellen DeGeneres Will Rock the Oscars Tomorrow Night!

Ellen DeGeneres has been set to host the 79th Academy Awards telecast, producer Laura Ziskin announced. It will be DeGeneres’ first time as Oscar® host, as well as her first appearance on an Academy Awards telecast.

I’m so happy Ellen is doing it this year. Hosting the Academy Awards is a tough gig, but I know she’ll pull it off and be hilarious. Big names like David Letterman, (remember the embarrassingly unfunny “Uma, meet Oprah” bit?) Chris Rock and Whoopi Goldberg have tried to host this show and failed miserably, in my opinion. I’m predicting an “A” grade for Ellen tomorrow night!

“Ellen DeGeneres was born to host the Academy Awards,” said Ziskin. “There is no more challenging hosting job in show business. It requires someone who can keep the show alive and fresh and moving, as well as someone who is a flat-out great entertainer. Ellen completely fits the bill. I can already tell she is going to set the bar very high for herself and therefore for all of us involved in putting on the show. Now all we need is a lot of great movies.”

DeGeneres is the host of the syndicated talk show “The Ellen DeGeneres Show,” which this year won its third Emmy for Outstanding Talk Show and earned DeGeneres her second Emmy for Outstanding Talk Show Host.

Launched in September 2003, the show won four Daytime Emmys in its freshman year, including Outstanding Talk Show, after garnering a record twelve nominations. In its second season, the show won five Daytime Emmys, and this year earned a total of six Emmy Awards.