107.9 The End: My Douche Bags of the Month

I am completely upset over the recent news that a woman died from drinking too much water in an on-air contest held at 107.9 The End, a radio station in Sacramento. This tragedy is another example of how radio is the absolute lowest entertainment form on the planet, right down there with mimes and party clowns. I have some friends who are DJ’s and I consider them to be a little higher quality than most of the pabulum serving hacks out there because at least they act like real human beings and not like robotic reading machines. These idiot DJ’s killed this woman in my opinion. How dumb can they be? Haven’t they heard about other people who have died from consuming too much water? First off, it’s a crazy idea from the very start. Why would you ever make it into a contest? Why don’t they just ask people to burn cigarette holes in their arms or eat feces? It’s just inane to begin with. Radio station DJ’s are untalented as a rule. They are unoriginal and will copy each other because it’s all about ratings. They come on with their phony sounding voices and announce things like celebrity birthdays and entertainment gossip and other assorted meaningless drivel. They show up at shopping malls doing stupid promotions and give away things like buttons and cheap-ass t-shirts. I And then they put on these dumb contests, where listeners will scramble for anything free. They think they are giving folks their 15 seconds of fame, but it’s basically pathetic. The DJ’s for 107.9 The End should be fired and taken off the air forever. Spare all of us this type of idiocy and keep them away from the public. I happily make them my douche bags of the month!

The Best Diets Pills are the Ones that Really Work and Don't Contain Harmful Things

I am attempting to lose roughly 30 lbs. but I can’t stop eating! I love food too much. That’s why I’m going to try out what I’ve been told are the Best Diet Pills on the market. I just ordered 2 kinds: Metabo Speed XXX and Hoodia 750. Both are completely natural and are highly rated. Wish me luck!

Metabolism Boosters are a Weight Loss Option

One way of losing weight quickly is by using a Metabolism Booster. They help you burn food faster and thereby you shed pounds. My good friend Timmy “Tiny” Lardner has been using them and lost a bunch of weight last year. I’m going to be looking into the possibility of using one, and I’ll let all of you know how it works!

The Magic Kingdom in Florida

I’ve been to Disneyland at least 15 times in my life, but I’ve always wanted to go to Disney World. That’s why I’m trying to learn more about Orlando vacations. With Epcot Center and all of the incredible resorts surrounding the entire area, I think Orlando would be a great place to visit. There’s just so much going on there.

NFL Championship Predictions

New Orleans: 31 Chicago: 17

Indianapolis: 21 New England: 20

My Golden Globe Predictions

I like the Golden Globes a lot more than the Oscars. They are just a little more laid back and a lot more fun. Here are my predictions for this year's winners in the major categories:

Best Film, Drama: Babel

Best Film, Comedy/Musical: Little Miss Sunshine

Best Actor, Drama: Forest Whitaker, The Last King of Scotland

Best Actress, Drama: Helen Mirren, The Queen

Best Actor, Comedy/Musical: Sacha Baron Cohen, Borat

Best Actress, Comedy/Musical: Meryl Streep, The Devil Wears Prada

Best Supporting Actor: Eddie Murphy, Dreamgirls

Best Supporting Actress: Jennifer Hudson, Dreamgirls

Best Director: Martin Scorsese, The Departed

All-You-Can Eat Baseball Seats? I'm in Dodger Blue Heaven!

I read the other day where the LA Dodgers are going to be offering $40 all-you-can-eat seats in a special section of the right-field pavilion at Dodger Stadium. 3,000 fans will have the pleasure of consuming as many hot dogs, peanuts, popcorn, nachos and sodas that their bellies can hold. Beer, ice cream and candy will not be included in the deal, most likely so that drunks and diabetics won’t kill themselves in a free-for-all eating/drinking frenzy.

Personally, I am in heaven. I know that I’ll be one of the first fans to try and turn it into an eating contest. Eating contests are something I know a little about. When I was in college I ate 24 plate-sized pancakes in 30 minutes, a fraternity record that still exists at San Jose State to this day as far as I know. Another time on a dare I ate 68 pieces of sushi. (Not sashimi but nigiri – the kind with the rice, which is much tougher to eat a lot of.) The mistake I made with that feat of gluttony happened when I drank a lot of water with the sushi, causing the rice in my stomach to expand. They had to carry me out of the restaurant and I was sick for three days.

Then, of course, there’s the classic thing we do at baseball games called a “Babe Ruth.” This is where you eat one hot dog every inning. If the game goes into extra innings, you’re in big trouble. I know some guys back in New York who actually eat one dog every half inning, but that’s insane!In my younger days I could consume a lot of food and actually got ejected from a couple of those all-you-can-eat buffets. At one time I actually weighed 355 lbs! Man, was I fat! Now I’m down to around 270 and dropping fast, thanks to eating more sensibly with the help of my wonderful fiancée Angelina. The difference between her and I is that we both love food, but it’s just not as big a priority in her life. Plus, she can go without eating meat, which I find difficult. I still eat well nowadays, and I get to have the occasional burger or steak every now and then, it’s just that now it’s a special occasion and not an everyday thing

One person could shut down the Dodger’s decision to provide all-you-can-eat seats and his name is Takeru Kobayashi. Kobyashi is a champion eater and an amazing consumption machine. He doesn’t look like a big eater – He’s a little guy who’s skinny as a rail. But, man can he pack it in. Joey Chestnut from San Jose Calif. is a great eater too, but he will always be in Kobayashi’s shadow as long as Takeru is in the speed eating game. Kind of like when Steve Young was backing up Joe Montana. Young never became a star in the NFL until Montana left the 49ers. Then, he cashed in.

The Dodgers are entering a new era of MLB baseball gluttony. And, I for one, love it! Bring on the hot dogs, baby! And keep ‘em coming!

Re-finding Religion

Lately I’ve been gravitating back to my Catholic roots. One of the first things I did was buy a Catholic bible. Then, I started going to mass again. When I get stressed out or have problems understanding this crazy world, I pick up the bible and read it. I can see why they call it the best book ever written.

We Might Just Do It On the Sea!

Angelina and I are thinking about getting married on one of these yacht charters. We both love the ocean and I think it would be a blast to get hitched on the sea. Some of the yachts that you can rent are amazing and the prices aren’t outrageous. We don’t have a date set yet, we’re thinking maybe next summer. But, when we do tie the knot, why not do it on a luxury yacht?

Hats off to a Quality Company

My company had to get some power supply repair done and I just want to say that ACS Industrial did a great job. It’s always a pleasure doing business with people that are customer service oriented. These guys were thorough, super professional and really great. They do high voltage, low voltage, linear power, switching power and regulated power supply repair and they’re the best in my book.