Back From Las Vegas

After a working vacation in Las Vegas, I'm dog-tired and drained. I had a great time, even though I was there covering a series of events for a newspaper. I saw a bunch of celebrities -- like the singer Jewel, baseball pitcher Roger Clemens, ZZ Top's Billy Gibbons, actor Ben Affleck and more. That's one thing I like about Las Vegas -- you get to see stars walking right through the casinos just like normal schlubs like you and me. One of the highlights of the trip is when we got to see the Cirque du Soleil Beatles show LOVE at the Mirage. All I can say is Wow! I will be reviewing it in more detail soon, but for now let's put it this way -- it's AMAZING!! This spectacular show called LOVE was created from a personal friendship and mutual admiration between the late George Harrison and Cirque du Soleil founder Guy Laliberte. LOVE brings the magic of Cirque together with the unmatched spirit and passion behind the most beloved rock group of all time to create a vivid, intimate and powerful entertainment experience. Using the tapes at Abbey Road studios, Sir George Martin and Giles Martin have created a unique soundscape of The Beatles music for LOVE. The custom-built theater at The Mirage features 360 degree seating, panoramic video projections and amazing surround sound. I loved LOVE and so will you!

ON (A WORKING) VACATION

What do we have here? A stowaway? United doesn't allow dogs in the luggage!
I have blogged every single day since I started this thing, but I have to leave town for work this week, so the blogging will finally get a break. If you're bored, you can always look at any of my archived material. Also, you can click on Next Blog in the upper right hand corner of this page, and visit any of the other great blogs out there. I'll be back in the blogging game upon my return on October 31, ready with more amazing stories of LIFE ON THE EDGE.

NBA's Stephen Jackson is an Easy Selection as My Douche Bag of the Month

(If some of these guys weren't NBA athletes, we'd see them for what they truly are -- COMPLETE THUGS!! Stephen Jackson got involved in an incident outside a strip club a while back, and then instead of admitting he screwed up, he's now trying to say he did the right thing and people just misunderstand him. Yeah, going to a strip club while you should be in training with three guys who all have guns with them is really a smart thing to do. You're all over it, Stephen! Jackson is trying to play it like he's the victim here. Ever heard of staying home and resting so that you can earn some of those millions someone is dumb enough to pay you? Not to mention you're already on probation for some other stupid sh-- you did earlier. Man, these a-holes really make me mad. Way to stay out of trouble, Jackson. If you didn't have a jump shot you'd probably be in prison right now. Guess what? Stephen Jackson is my Douche Bag of the Month! And it was a no-brainer!)

INDIANAPOLIS -- Indiana Pacers guard Stephen Jackson fired shots in the air in apparent self-defense after he was hit by a car outside a strip club early Friday -- the latest blow to a team struggling to rebuild its image.
Pacers coach Rick Carlisle said Jackson and teammates Jamaal Tinsley, Marquis Daniels and Jimmie Hunter committed an "error in judgment" by staying out late during training camp. No one was seriously injured.
"Stephen is very lucky," Carlisle said. "It was a potential life-threatening situation that was averted. And right now, the biggest emotion I feel is relief that he's going to be OK."
Police said the disturbance began with an argument inside Club Rio involving patrons and players. The players said they left the club, but the patrons followed them. Then things turned physical.
Sgt. Matthew Mount, a police spokesman, said Jackson fired five shots from a 9mm pistol outside the Indianapolis club after he was hit in the mouth and struck by a car that sent him tumbling onto the hood. Officers were searching for the vehicle and three men wanted for questioning.
Carlisle said Jackson needed stitches in his lip and face but had no broken bones or other damage. His status for Wednesday's preseason opener against New Jersey was unclear.
"He's got some scrapes and bruises, but this guy is going to bounce back," Carlisle said.
Police said a small amount of marijuana was found in the passenger-side door of the car belonging to Tinsley. Carlisle declined to comment on that, saying he didn't have enough information. Mount said no arrests were made because police could not determine who had the marijuana. Three others were in the car with Tinsley, police said.
NBA spokesman Tim Frank said the league was monitoring the situation. The NBA's drug policy says players who test positive for marijuana face rehabilitation, fines and suspensions, depending on whether it is a first offense. Testing is done randomly throughout the season and for reasonable cause.
Tinsley and Daniels also had guns in their cars, and all three armed players had weapons permits, Mount said.
Mount said police were reviewing a security tape and 911 calls from the club. The grainy image shows a car striking Jackson and at least one shot being fired into the air, police said.
The Pacers are still trying to shake the damage from the fight between Pacers and Detroit Pistons fans at Auburn Hills, Mich., two seasons ago.
Indiana was a title contender the last two seasons but those hopes were dashed by fallout from the brawl and suspensions and injuries. Fans often booed the team and crowds fell to their lowest level in nearly decade in last year's 41-41 season.
This year, the team has taken out ads and billboards featuring players and the slogan "It's up to us." The Pacers held parties for season-ticket holders in an effort to renew interest.
They also brought in 12 new players, including former Pacer Al Harrington. Even Jackson, who was suspended 30 games for his role in the brawl and often was at odds with Carlisle last season, talked about spending a summer "soul-searching" and returning with a positive attitude.
But instead of being asked about the positive moves, a new up-tempo offense and the exhibition opener Wednesday against New Jersey, team officials again were answering uncomfortable questions.
Jackson, a 28-year-old guard, joined the Pacers in 2004 and averaged 16 points during the 2005-06 season.
He pleaded no contest to misdemeanor assault charges related to the Auburn Hills mayhem and was sentenced in September 2005 to a year's probation and community service. He was named in a lawsuit filed by a Detroit fan in connection with the brawl.
During a recent news conference, Jackson hugged Carlisle and sat by his side to answer questions -- a gesture the Pacers hoped would symbolize improved team chemistry.
"As a franchise, we have to take responsibility for what goes on," Carlisle said. "Our players realize that being out that late during training camp is not the right thing. It's an error in judgment, and it's going to have to change."

2007 MLB World Series: The Cats Will Land on Their Feet & The Cardinals Will Be Their Kitty Litter

A replay of the first World Series I remember, (1968, Detroit won 4-3) this one should be fun to watch on a lot of different levels. We have two veteran managers with two very similar styles, both leading teams with superstars and role players galore. One of them will join Sparky Anderson as the only manager in the history of the game to win a World Series in each league. Detroit has a distinct advantage going into the series, primarily because the Tigers have had a good long rest and Jim Leyland has the option of setting up his starters in any order he desires. The Cardinals are at a real disadvantage because their best hurler, Cy Young award winner Chris Carpenter, will not be able to start until Game 3. With a rotation of Verlander, Rogers, Bonderman and Robertson, the Cats are going to be tough to hit, especially since St. Lou’s best hitter, Albert Puljos, can be pitched around without too many repercussions. On the other hand, Detroit’s lineup is stacked with smart, young hitters like Rodriguez, Ordonez, Casey, and Granderson. The fans in both cities will be bouncing off the stadium walls, but my guess is that the Detroit Tigers will win it in 6.
But, what do I know? I picked the Mets and the White Sox to be in this year’s World Series, with the Chisox coming out as a repeat winner. That was a bad pick!
MY PICK: TIGERS IN 6

This Week's Restaurant Review: Millennium in SF

The other night we ate at a place called Millennium, a totally vegan restaurant in downtown San Francisco. I had only been to a couple of vegetarian spots in my life until moving to SF last year, but now I’ve been to several and I can’t believe that in many ways I am beginning to think I could live sans meat and actually enjoy it. Don’t get me wrong – a nice steak, a couple of fried pork chops with apple sauce, meat loaf, barbecued ribs, a juicy brisket and other such items still cause me to salivate and swoon – but I’ve learned not to be frightened by meals that don’t involve something that was breathing prior to hitting my plate. Millennium is a true vegan establishment – they talk the vegan talk and walk the vegan walk, because they don’t have anything on their menu that had a face or anything that comes from something that has one. That means no dairy, no eggs, and no honey, for that matter. The only things you’ll find at Millennium grow out of the ground. And, believe me; they don’t sacrifice taste or variety in doing it that way. Located in the Hotel California on Geary Street, this restaurant explores the pleasures of perfectly prepared produce from every angle using every method of preparation imaginable. To kick off this all-natural exploration into the vegan universe, we started off with some pretty amazing appetizers. By far the best thing we ate all night was the Sesame Cornmeal Crusted Oyster Mushrooms ($9.00). They came with a cucumber mint salad, and a sweet & spicy apricot ginger coulis and they kicked ass. The texture and the flavor was a winning combination. I ate more than my share of this appetizer, which resulted in sideways looks from some of my dining companions, but to be honest, I really didn’t care. If this is the kind of stuff vegans eat, count me in! The other appetizer we sampled was a Black Bean Torte ($8.00), which consisted of a whole wheat tortilla, caramelized plantains, smoky black bean puree, manchamanteles sauce, cashew sour cream (without dairy), and a golden watermelon-jicama relish. I would say it was just okay. When I saw plantains listed as an ingredient, I thought it would have some of those flavors, but the rest of the dish overpowered the entire affair. For entrees, we had the Grilled Rosa Bianca Eggplant Napoleon ($22.00) which had more produce in it than your average Whole Foods Market. It’s a sage scented flageolet bean ragu seared garlic polenta cake with a summer ratatouille, arugula and Greek basil salad and a smoky Romesco sauce. If you know what that means, go for it, but all I know is that it tasted pretty damn good. The only criticism I might have with this dish is that it was very busy. There were so many flavors bombarding my taste buds in unison that some of them got lost. We also had the Chipotle Grilled Portobello and Zucchini Tamale ($21.00) with dried cherries and toasted almonds, sautéed greens, ancho-carrot “cream,” roasted tomatillo salsa and spiced pumpkin seeds. A version of high-end Mexican vegan cuisine, no doubt, this dish was muy caliente and mucho flavorful. All in all, I would say that Millennium is a very intriguing place that has taken vegan gourmet food to a whole new and exciting level. I would recommend it if you’re on a healthy food kick and even if you’re not. Millennium is located at 580 Geary Street in SF and their phone number is: (415) 345-3900.

Online Dating Sucks!!

(This is an article I wrote a while back about my experiences in the online dating world.)
I was very skeptical about entering the world of online dating when I initially signed up with match.com. As a 48-year-old single male with more issues than Reader’s Digest, my expectations were understandably low to start with. I’ve never been married, I don’t have any kids and my best friend is my shrink. I decided early on that I would probably be satisfied having a relationship with someone who simply had fewer problems than I did.
I had heard both horror stories as well as wondrous tales about the online dating experience, some undoubtedly as much fiction as truth, and all of them left me extremely tentative about entering the fray. One woman I know went on 26 online dates before meeting a suitable mate, whom she eventually married. I admired her thoroughness and determination. When I went to purchase a new car, I only looked at about five vehicles before making a decision. This gal kicked more emotional tires than I can count on all my appendages combined, which means she’s either a.) a complete control freak, b.) very high maintenance. c.) desperate as hell.
I guess what I felt might make me so potentially easy to match up with someone was the simple fact that after so many years of being either lonely or in dysfunctional relationships, I was quite frankly numb. A woman with a pulse who had the ability to talk in complete sentences would do just fine. My expectations were understandably quite low.
To get set up, I put a fairly honest and rather simple description of myself on match.com along with a recent photo. I hate it when people put misleading pictures of themselves online. If they say they’re 40 years old and the picture shows them standing in front of a Chevy Vega wearing a peace sign necklace and bell bottoms, you can pretty much tell that the photo is about a current as an old copy of the Magna Carta.
I immediately got responses to my profile and a few stood out right away. One woman sounded really nice and her picture was incredible. A really hot looking 30-something blonde with a killer body in a little bikini, she immediately caught my eye.
Two weeks later, after a series of e-mails back and forth, we met at a restaurant on Union Street in San Francisco. When I got there, I had problems finding the place. She was blocking it, along with the sun. The last bikini this gal wore had to have been the size of the Bikini Islands. I admit, I’m no svelte athlete myself, but the upper sections of this individual’s arms were bigger than my legs. I am so grateful that the place where we met was a buffet; otherwise I would have had to take out a small business loan to cover the bill.
I’m not someone who is usually too hung up on looks, but to be deceived to this degree didn’t sit too well with me. I could see she had a pretty face, and I’m assuming that the photo she had on match.com was at one time in the distant past actually her. But, since then she had gorged her way into being the behemoth that sat right in front of me – well, actually all around me. Discouraged and feeling defrauded, I bailed out halfway through the tiramisu – it was all-you can-eat and I could tell she was just getting started.
Undaunted, I went home and got back on the computer to see if there were any honest people out there who wanted a guy they wouldn’t be tempted to eat.
The next woman I started talking to was a school teacher from Berkeley. We met for coffee on a Sunday morning in a little café down on Telegraph. She was gorgeous, intelligent, vibrant, compelling, funny and….extremely opinionated. Listening to her was like watching CNN, the O’Reilly Report, MSN, 60 Minutes, Crossfire and the 10:00 News simultaneously on crystal meth.
Within minutes, I knew all of her feelings on Bin Laden, Bush, Rice, Cheney, Hillary, Robertson, Gore (both Al and Tipper) abortion, illiteracy, baby seals, childhood diabetes, fossil fuels, the greenhouse effect, North Korea, Iraq, Iran, Bosnia and some other countries I’d never heard of.
When she wasn’t hugging trees, creating colorful protest signage or pelting right wingers with rotten, but always organic fruit, this woman was angry at everything she felt was wrong with the world. At first, I thought it was inspiring. Wow, here’s someone with a set of beliefs that she’s not afraid to live by.
But, eventually I found out that one of the main items on this gal’s list of diatribes was the entire male race. She wasn’t just angry at the wrong things in the world, she was mad at the world in its entirety, at the human race in general, and men in particular.
Eventually she began to focus on all of the many things that are wrong with me and started a crusade against them. Needless to say, I bailed even more quickly from her than I did from Jabba the Hut.
Returning back to my Compaq Presario like a puppy that had just been chastised for peeing on the carpet, I slowly but reluctantly got back into the online dating game. I changed over to another web site, eharmony.com, figuring I’d have better luck. But, what scared me was that I started to see a lot of the same photos and profiles that I had seen on match.com.
I began to realize that there are people out there who are addicted to online dating. They use it like a shopaholic uses malls or a junkie uses smack. It’s a seductive vehicle, I must admit. Where else can you shop for potential mates and bid on them like baseball cards on e-bay? Where else can you meet so many different people in such a short time and in one location? When you go to the Humane Society to look for a pet, they only have a couple dozen cats and dogs there, maybe 40 at the very most. But, the selection on a popular dating site can provide you with hundreds, even thousands of viable choices.
So, I continued my search with a vengeance and a new-found commitment. I figured hey – maybe that woman who dated 26 guys had it right – play the field and have some fun and if you never find Mrs. Right, so be it. Play the human love lotto and let the chips fall where they may. Life isn’t fair, in fact, it specializes in being unfair. But, I thought, what the heck, I won’t invest too much into the process so how badly can I get hurt?
I’m happy to report that ever since I took that attitude things have been great. I’m not quite at 26 dates yet. I think I’ve met about 11 women online. But, instead of looking at it like a do-or-die situation, I treat each experience like a fun new adventure. That way I’m totally at ease, there are zero expectations and consequently no disappointments.
I used to think online dating was a quagmire of false hopes and a respite from our shallow lives. But, now I know that’s exactly what it is and consequently the whole thing is just a lot more fun.
I hope Chewbacca has lost a few pounds, because she seemed nice enough, between mouthfuls. And I hope Ms. Berkeley has mellowed a bit. Maybe I’ll meet up with one or both of them again on another dating site in the not-too-distant future and we can look back at the entire mess and have a good laugh. But, one thing I’m sure of is that this time around it will be better, because I’ve put the whole online dating thing in perspective. I’m happy with it and content with myself -- for the first time in a long, long time.

Playing Nurse Today

Some of my loved ones are down for the count today and I am taking care of them. I actually like to do it. I'm bummed they're hurting, but I'm happy that I'm there to help. Maybe Florence Nightingale is somewhere in the branches of my Family Tree. See you all tomorrow!

Teenager Terrorist Threat Thwarted!

A 14-year-old girl in Sacramento put an anti-Bush message on her myspace.com page. I guess it showed a picture of our president with a dagger stuck in his outstretched hand, with the words, “Kill Bush” scrawled beneath it. The girl was pissed off by the war in Iraq. She removed the message from her myspace page as soon as she learned in school that is was a no-no to post such material, but by then it was apparently too late. The Secret Service came by her classroom a week later and aggressively questioned her. They must believe that she’s a legitimate terrorist threat. Maybe they suspect that she’s hoarding bomb-making devices in her hair gel, or possibly plotting against the government during afternoon recess. They painstakingly combed through her pom-poms, her peanut butter and jelly sandwich, her fruit juice boxes and pudding cups, as well as her Little Miss Kitty backpack and Justin cowboy boots. They also made her empty out all her piercings and remove all of her temporary tattoos. Thank God our government is so on top of stuff like this. Next thing you know, kindergartners will be transporting terrorist correspondence in pop-up picture books and nerf balls. They may even start trying to involve celebrities like Barney and the Cookie Monster in their conspiratorial acts. Nip this stuff in the bud before these kids learn about things like Freedom of Speech and the Right of Assembly. Hats off to our government for making sure these children grow up to be just as frightened as their parents.
(Please Note: Wow! I am getting a lot of nasty e-mails on this one. So, let me say this. I don't think it was right for this young lady to use the words, "Kill Bush." I am in no way condoning that. Maybe if she had written, "Bush Stinks!" or "I Don't Like Bush!" or even "I Hate Bush!" that would have been a little smarter on her part. When you write "Kill (anyone)" it comes off like a death threat and that will upset people every time and rightfully so. I was simply trying to help people see the humor in this incident. Some of you should really just chill...)

Baseball Announcer Steve "Psycho" Lyons Gets Fired from MLB ALCS Telecast for Messin' With Lou Piniella

(I have to say I saw this coming. I just had a feeling putting Steve Lyons and Lou Piniella together in the TV broadcast booth was going to be a real problem. Piniella is a highly respected former player and veteran manager even though he is, in my opinion, a very flat and pretty dull announcer. He's as cool as a cucumber until you piss him off, and then he turns into the long-lost cousin of Attila the Hun. Just ask any of the umpires he's berated and intimidated over the years. Lyons has always had a quick wit and a very thin filter between brain and mouth. He's like the kid in class who's always cutting up and saying inapproriate things. After watching Game One, I could see these two would clash. The racial stuff will always take a guy down. Lyons has one of the most coveted jobs in the business and he had to blow the gig by being a smart-ass. Wow, he reminds me a lot of......ME!)

This article appeared recently on www.cbssportsline.com:

DETROIT -- Fox baseball broadcaster Steve Lyons has been fired for making a racially insensitive comment directed at colleague Lou Piniella's Hispanic heritage on the air during Game 3 of the American League Championship Series.
The network confirmed Saturday that Lyons was dismissed after Friday's comments. He has been replaced for the remainder of the series by Los Angeles Angels announcer Jose Mota.
"Steve Lyons has been relieved of his Fox Sports duties for making comments on air that the company found inappropriate," network spokesman Dan Bell said.
Lyons had been working in the booth for the ALCS alongside Thom Brennaman and Piniella, the No. 2 broadcast team for Fox this postseason.
A call to Lyons' cell phone was not immediately returned Saturday.
In the second inning of Friday's game between Detroit and Oakland, Piniella talked about the success light-hitting A's infielder Marco Scutaro had in the first round of the playoffs. Piniella said that slugger Frank Thomas and Eric Chavez needed to contribute, comparing Scutaro's production to finding a "wallet on Friday" and hoping it happened again the next week.
Later, Piniella said the A's needed Thomas to get "en fuego" -- hot in Spanish -- because he was currently "frio" -- or cold. After Brennaman praised Piniella for being bilingual, Lyons spoke up.
Lyons said that Piniella was "hablaing Espanol" -- butchering the conjugation for the word "to speak" -- and added, "I still can't find my wallet."
"I don't understand him, and I don't want to sit too close to him now," Lyons continued.
Fox executives told Lyons after the game he had been fired.
Piniella, approached before Saturday's Game 4, declined to comment on the situation except to say: "No, he's not here today."
This was not a first-time offense for Lyons, nicknamed "Psycho" during his nine-year big league career as a utilityman that ended in 1993 with the Boston Red Sox.
Hired when Fox began broadcasting baseball in 1996, Lyons was suspended without pay in late September 2004 after his remarks about Shawn Green of the Los Angeles Dodgers. Green is Jewish and elected not to play one of the two games at San Francisco that took place during the Yom Kippur holiday.
The network apologized for Lyons' remarks at the time.
Earlier in the playoffs, while working the Mets-Dodgers NLDS, Lyons unwittingly made fun of a nearly blind fan who was wearing special glasses to see the game.
"He's got a digital camera stuck to his face," Lyons said.
He also once pulled down his pants on the field during his playing days.
Lyons, 46, was a career .252 hitter with 19 home runs and 196 RBI for Boston, the Chicago White Sox, Atlanta and Montreal. He was a first-round draft pick by the Red Sox, 19th overall, in 1981.
(NEWS FLASH: As I was writing this, I got a HOT NEWS TIP that the aforementioned Lou Piniella will be named the new manager for the Chicago Cubs by tomorrow. Thank God, because he's a lousy announcer! Piniella's first hiring for his new coaching staff? You guessed it, not Steve Lyons, but listen to this -- Steve Bartman!! This is what my sources are telling me.)

Our Mayor Likes Undernourished, Underage Blondes with Fake ID's? And You Call That News?

A skinny little blonde by the name of Brittanie Mountz is making a lot of news lately because she's going out with our very eligible single Mayor Gavin Newsom. I met the waif-like Twiggy doppelganger myself about a month ago when she was our hostess at a trendy SF restaurant called Aqua. She seemed nice and cute enough, although a tad too skinny for my liking. I remember at one point a 20-something stylish looking yupster tried to hit on her and she just rolled her eyes. I bet she must have been thinking to herself -- "I've got the mayor, who the hell are you?" Anyway, there's been a little controversy surrounding her lately, because the crack reporting duo Matier & Ross of the SF Chronicle are saying she's been seen drinking in public, yet she's not yet 21. Underage drinking in SF? What a headline grabber! Matier & Ross are no doubt a shoo-in for the Pulitzer for that incredible piece of investigative reporting. Woodward & Bernstein, move over! High school kids all across the city are thinking of changing their college majors to journalism so that they can make the kind of impact on society that Matier & Ross have made. Next thing you know they'll be reporting about a love affair between two male penguins at the SF Zoo! Or that someone parked in the Fire Chief's reserved spot last Tuesday! Man, this is cutting-edge stuff! I have only lived here a year, but I can tell you that there are more fake ID's in this town than real ones. In fact, many women over 21 have fake ID's to prove they're much younger! Give us something substantial for once Matier & Ross. The last big story you broke was the 1989 earthquake....2 days after it happened!